Never Will We Be That Wonderful
by AlisabethAi
Summary: Serena contemplates the mystery of sex and what it would hold for her while anticipating that a man who everyone finds arrogant not to mention her best friends boyfriend will show her his true nature while satisfying her curiosity in this world of betraya
1. We are Curious

**__**

Free Talk:

Okay so this is probably the first story I've written since about 3 years ago, I'm excited. This one is a little more grown up than what I wrote about back than but you know anyways here it goes. As well I apologize for the grammar errors there generally will be a great many seeing as that grammar is not one of my strong points so I wouldn't bother critiquing it seeing as I probably won't do anything about it.

Disclaimer: I'm only going to say this once, I don't own Sailor Moon or any characters from the series, thanks.

****

Never Will We Be That Wonderful

Sex. To me it's an unknown secretive world that only a small handful know of, a world where everyone is mature and adult however still naïve and curious. The people who have had sex are idolized by those around them, or chastised for it depending on your own beliefs. It's what gives meaning to the term "gossip", its what generally defines some high school's reputations. My school with has a population 700 people, it's the only school I know of where everyone knows your full name, and you know all of theirs as well.

I live in a small mostly rural community, within driving distance of a city but yet secluded enough that everyone knows who you are and all about you. I mean in grade 8 when I had the chicken pocks a woman whom my mother occasionally speaks to brought me flowers and soup because she heard through the "grape vine" I was sick. Sometimes a close knit community can be of help especially when you're in trouble, however most of the time it can be ridiculously annoying when people know everything about your personal life; you can't go drinking at a party without it getting back to your parents, than again I wouldn't really have that problem seeing as I don't drink. 

Most look at me like the girl who likes to have fun but be a tease when it actually comes to doing the things I say I'm going to. For example strip poker I don't think they should tease me for not taking off my shirt I was wearing a really ugly bra that night I didn't feel like being embarrassed. I'm the popular girl who is scared of the power she holds from being friends with that group of 6.

I've had maybe two boyfriends, if you count the ones I went out with for a week it would be 5. I like many boys don't get me wrong I'm just not someone who will impulsively jump to the opportunity, not only that but everyone is so worked up about how if you get into a relationship you should just jump into bed with them. It's not like I'm nervous about sex or sexually related things it's more or less I don't like the pressure. I could be kidding myself but perhaps it's…

"Miss. Tuskino are you even paying attention?" questioned Mr. Hido.

"I am Mr. Hido," I lied casually while watching his reaction turn from confused to disbelief.

"Than would you be so kind as to tell as what the symptoms of Chlamydia are?" He smiled, I'd been in his personal hygiene class since eighth grade, because of this he realizes that I day dream and start thinking deep thoughts randomly almost like I'm narrating my life to myself. I don't need help and I'm not crazy I just think deeply about things around me as if I'm in a movie.

"Umm, a red rash and… Little bumps around the vagina?" I guessed, that was symptoms for something, I was just really hoping it was for Chlamydia.

"This Serena is why you must start paying attention in class, your answer was an adequate guess but entirely wrong, there are no symptoms for Chlamydia which makes it not only one of the most spread sexually transmitted diseases but also one of the most dangerous, pay attention or I'll have to single you out again… Be careful class you may think sex feels good and is fun but it's something…." continued Mr. Hino

Every year when we approached the sexually transmitted disease section of his course we all had to hear about why we should be abstaining, I couldn't remember at this point in my life why I was abstaining. When I was younger like all children I said I would wait until marriage before ever having sex. I'm not religious but don't get me wrong I fully believe in god I'm just not in a religion formally, in other words I don't go to church. As I was saying though as I grew older I'd come to realize that adults generally tell you not to have sex until you're married or "at an age where you would be able to support kids" because they fear you'll become pregnant at such a young age, I suppose they're trying to protect our innocence.

__

Later…

"So Darien and I are having our six month anniversary on Friday," giggled Raye as she took a bite of her sandwich at lunch. Raye was our "leader" I guess you could say, she was outgoing and ready for anything how could she not be? She was beautiful her hair was long and black and her eyes were a shimmering amethyst color she had her optometrist concoct for her. Compared to her I was a mere mouse, I had extremely long blonde hair with pale blue eyes. I wore make up and had a great personality, that's what my mother always told me I think she thinks that my looks were all her fault as if she knew that I wasn't a diamond in a bunch of rocks. Not only was I average but my personality wasn't great, I talked a lot that was for sure but I also listened which makes me appear quiet.

"Six months? Holy I'm impressed with you, you're never satisfied longer than a two months usually, I would have thought he'd bore you long ago," remarked Lita. Lita was typical athlete she generally wore sweats and a hoodie, somehow this look was beautiful on her though; it didn't give her the appearance that she was lazy. She has long brown hair with a little curl in it and these bright emerald eyes that gave off a 'don't mess with me' kind of look.

"Ya well with Darien there's something special you know? Plus he's two years older than me which makes it seem a little more scandalous than going out with someone in my grade," smiled Raye, just as two muscular arms wrapped around her shoulders and a head leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Enter Darien Chiba, the most gorgeous man that has ever uttered more than two words to me. He had jet black hair and a tanned complexion and his eyes were a deep blue that almost any girl could get lost in after looking into them for too long. I however will never be graced with the privilege to look into those eyes long enough to get lost or to even be found after, not only is he dating one of my best friends but he will only date girls who either have had sex or potentially will sex with him. This seems shallow to me but I cannot change his views after any virgin who dates him gives in the moment he touches them below the navel, I however wouldn't give in to a guy no matter how hard he tried.

"So what are you fine ladies doing tonight?" Asked Darien looking at the four of us as he slid into the seat next to Raye.

"Oh you know going over to Ami's house, her parents are in Cancun Mexico and she is the only one who has a secluded house so there's no nosey neighbors about," laughed Lita.

Ami was probably one of the most spoiled girls I had ever met; she's probably the only girl I know of who is so rich that she can have her hair died the exact same color as her eyes, cotton candy blue. Her parents live a little bit further into the country her mom owns a doctors practice in the city and is rarely home and her father is always away on business trips seeing as he is the CEO of a large conglomerate in China. When her family is home it's only for a day or two before her parents leave Ami alone and go on an exotic trip to get away from it all, Ami swears she's never been lonely and we all know this is her greatest lie.

"They went to Cancun without you again? Doesn't that bother you at all?" questioned Raye looking inattentively straight at me. "Hello Serena it's Raye calling from planet lunch just wondering if your voice got lost over the last period and were not planning on speaking at all today," giggled Raye Ami and Lita laughed as well.

"Raye shut your face," argued Minako while sticking her tongue out at Raye. Minako is my true best friend of the bunch not only did we look alike with our blonde hair and blue eyes but we had a lot in common and ever since we were kids when Raye would make fun of me she would always stand up for me I guess you could say she was the only one of us not at all scared of Raye, Raye knew that and it frightens her deep down inside.

"Serena can talk Minako she's not a dummy that sits on your lap," commented Raye as she took a drink from Darien's Pepsi. "So Ami your house tonight? After all it is a Friday and I do have a boot," smiled Raye looking at Ami knowing very well that she would not refuse.

"Lets say about 8ish than?" Said Ami blankly while sipping on her straw.

"Darien you are going to bring your friends right?" Asked Lita, we all knew why Lita would ask that she's completely in love with Motoki Darien's best friend as well Ami was infatuated with Ryo one of Darien's closest friends.

"Yes Motoki AND Ryo will both be there, it's a shame you don't like any of my friends Serena I might have been able to hook you up with someone decent," said Darien.

I knew exactly what he was getting at, he knows I'm square so why not rub it in a little more? He also thinks part of the reason I'm square is because the guys I've dated have been shy his theory he told me once I still laugh remembering it…. '_Serena don't you get why you and other's don't last? The way I see it is you need someone who is outgoing because shy shy quiet and boring, do you understand what I'm saying too you? You need someone to make you laugh and someone to cheer you up when you're down not someone who doesn't know what they're doing.' _… As much as I hated to admit it that was sometimes how I felt, the boy may seem like an asshole but when you talked to him alone he means well. The funny thing about him is he's actually very intellectual he's in his last year of high school and will be graduating with honors in every single class he's in. That's what makes me respect him so much.

"No offence Darien but I wouldn't call your friends all that decent," I shot back giving him the 'back off' glare, even though I should know better because this is where he starts the game.

"You're lucky I'm offering, no offence to you Miss. Tuskino but thinking about it now none of my friends would want to even touch you," He retaliated, ouch that one was a burn I better think up something quick before he hits me twice.

"Who says I want to be touched, I don't need any of their hands roaming my body thank you," I replied, without even realizing what an idiot I look like after what I just said. I could feel it… All the blood rushing to my face turning it a bright color of scarlet.

"Roaming your body? Serena well I never thought you would have it in you to have dirty thoughts," smiled Darien while folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair smugly.

"She's incapable of having dirty thoughts, she's always in there cleaning them up before they even begin," said Raye as she sipped on her own Dr. pepper.

I was stuck I had no response, I was in a foot of mud and incapable of clawing my way out. I would either sink in further or be cornered again.

"I… I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled and got up to leave when I felt a hand grab hold of my wrist, I turned to see Darien standing there hanging onto me.

"I'm sorry, it was uncalled for but you know how much you enjoy it, anyways are you going to show up at Ami's tonight?" He asked sincerely, perfect example of why I cannot hate this man, and yes it's true our little arguments are fun even though I'm not quick enough to be the winner.

"I'll show up at Ami's tonight but I am not drinking," I replied while stalking off to the bathroom.

"GOOD YOU CAN BE THE DOUBLE D!" shouted out Lita, I was always the "Double D" designated driver, I don't mind it usually except that they always assume I'll be the one to drive them safely home. Just once I'd like to leave them there at the party only to wake up and be confused as to why they're not in their beds at home.

"Fine what ever," I answered quietly.

__

That Night….

"Hey Serena glad you could make it," said some random girl who had been drinking as I walked into Ami's house, looks like word had gotten out seeing as there was almost no room to walk with all the people there.

"Serena I knew you would be here, there's some beer in the fridge with your name on it if you would like some, oh and there's this one guy who keeps touching girl's asses so be on the look out for a green hat." Said Ami quickly as she passed by me almost spilling her drink onto the floor. I never was one to drink, but they always seemed to offer. I feel awkward going to parties sometimes because I'm not drinking I always get the urge to get smashed with the rest of them. So I do what I always do at parties I go up stairs and find a bed room lay down and wait for it to end, sad and pathetic I know but I really only ever come to parties as a way to keep Raye and the others satisfied I am a popular girl after all and if people didn't see me here they would start to wonder why.

"Serena what are you doing in here?" I heard a familiar masculine voice ask. I cocked my head to the right only to come face to face with Darien.

"Oh god, I'm not walking in on you and Raye or anything am I?" I asked confused taking a step back out the door.

"No, it's just me," He answered, I smelled the vodka on his breath and could tell he'd already drank a few shots.

"Where is Raye then?" I questioned entering the room, I'd never been alone in a bedroom with a guy before.

"How the hell should I know? She said something about feeling sick and than she walked out the door and went into another bedroom and that's the last I've seen of her so she's probably fucking some guy down the hall," He answered sitting down on the bed and taking a drink of his beer he had been holding behind his back.

"That's a terrible thing to say you know that?" I said taking a seat beside him on the bed.

"Ya well I'm pretty drunk right now so I say a lot of things I shouldn't, want a drink?" He asked offering an unopened beer out of the case on the floor.

"I… umm.." I stuttered, a part of me wanted to take that beer and chug it down just to feel the sensation everyone else felt but the other part of me held me back knowing I shouldn't.

"To tell you the truth I think you are so much more hot than Raye, I mean don't get me wrong but she's just so obnoxious sometimes that I can't stand her…"He trailed off and took another sip of his beer.

It was at that very moment as I started at the beer that I realized what had just been said, Darien had just complimented me not only that but told me I was more hot than Raye and that he can't stand her? And here I am…Doomed beyond help.

**__**

Free Talk:

Okay so I know this part was mostly describing who everyone was and what role they play in this story, and I'm sorry if you think Darien is kind of a conceited asshole because in truth he's a lot more deep than you may think and this will be revealed in chapters to come. I hope you liked my first chapter I'll update again soon I hope J take care and please review!!


	2. Dieing Rumors and finding temptation

Free talk: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And no this story isn't just going to be about sex, it's about a lot more than that; however that is a main element in here. Oh and I realized the typing error a little too late but Serena never took the beer it was supposed to be stared not started. Sorry about that. Anyways enjoy 3

****

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: Chapter 2

"I'm sorry what?" I questioned staring at him intensely, still eyeing the beer that was pointed into my direction. He starts to laugh.

"Oh wow, I'm drunk and still winning in our little competitions, you're gullible you know that? Sure Raye is a bitch but she's a lot hotter than you!" He smiled as he started to pull his beer towards his mouth. Right about this point I am definitely feeling humiliated and stupid.

I than did something that shocked not only him but me as well; I pulled the beer he had been drinking from and took a big gulp of it. He just watched with this priceless look on his face, I couldn't really describe it seeing as it was shock, admiration, surprise and disappointment all in one.

_"_I'm gullible? You're the stupid one who fell for the surprised look and don't try to say I'm the one making excuses you're caught jerkface," I replied.

Still I pondered what came over me in that moment. I know that he didn't have a reply and for the first time I won the dispute, I had beaten the almighty ego himself.

"Touché " Replied Darien while taking the beer back and taking a drink. "Oh Serena when are we going to stop teasing each other so frequently?"

_"_But Darien don't you remember I like it," I joked, I never let this side of me out unless I'm with someone drunk or with close friends. It frightens me how open and flirty I become but at the same time I get a rush that I can't compare to any other feeling.

_"_I know Raye doesn't, she thinks we're flirting," He replied while laying down on the bed.

_"_Well maybe we are?" I answered while turning too him, stupid me how could I possibly think he could have heard that? The moment he touched the pillow he was out like a light.

"Serena? What are you doing in here with Darien?" shouted Raye as she opened the door wide.

"I…I… I thought it w..was an empty ro-" I stuttered but was cut off by her irrational self as usual.

"You thought wrong, Leave and don't ever talk to me ever again," She screamed, I quickly left the room.

If there's one thing you don't want to ever do it's to get on Raye's bad side she's a complete control freak and a little too honest for anyones likening. Everyone generally turns against you, we had been friends since the fifth grade when she moved here from California; we all thought it was neat to have someone from America to come to our school. When she came we were so sure she was a super model of some sort she was perfect in every way but her personality lacked things normal would consider important however she did have key elements: manipulation and charisma. She took to me right away and the five of us spawned on from there, I was the baby that she loved and she was the mother I feared.

"Serena where have you been?" Whined Lita as she saw me running down the stairs.

"I was resting in a bedroom sorry," I lied, I wasn't resting at all I was exchanging spit through beer and flirting shamelessly with my best friends boyfriend.

"I was looking for you, we're just going to spend the night sorry for making you bring your car," questioned Lita.

"Thanks for making me waste my gas," I replied sarcastically, I than passed Lita and walked out into the cold air of the night.

"Bye!" I called after the door had been slammed shut.

I got in my car and began to drive home, in all honesty I wasn't angry at all, in fact I was relieved. It's not like I was going to spend the night at a party even if I wanted too. I also didn't feel like waking up to a bitchy hung over Raye especially after last night. Not only would she remember what happened it would be so foggy that she would have thought she caught me naked straddling his hips.

Were best friends yet she still doesn't know me well enough to realize that, that's an impossible occurrence. I'm single, alone and used to it. Anything beyond the point of seclusion scares me I can barely even imagine what it would be like to have someone tell me they love me above anyone else. I am alone…

The Next Day…

I could hear my cell phone ringing but I was so tired that the thought of actually picking it up didn't excite me. I knew who it was, I knew what they were going to say and if I picked up the phone within seconds I would be praying to go deaf. I than heard the twist of the door knob and there was my mother standing there holding towels she than reached down and picked up the cell phone.

"For God's sake Serena pick up the phone, it's been annoying us for the last 20 minutes!" said my mother as she answered it.

"Hello, this is Mrs. Tuskino," she said politely, she always was a very classy lady.

"She is just a moment please," she than tossed the phone at me and I tucked it beside my ear.

"Hello, Serena speaking," I yawned and cringed awaiting a loud shriek.

"You and I need to talk," came a masculine voice, not the screaming girl voice I was expecting.

"Who is this?" I questioned groggily.

"Darien, what other guys do you know?" He said in a serious tone, even though what he said was a joke.

"What do you need to talk about?" I asked looking across the room at my clock, it was 11:30 in the morning.

"Raye thinks I slept with you last night, she was drunk and stupid I don't even remember seeing you can you please phone her and tell her what happened," He explained exhaustingly.

"Nothing happened, I walked into a bedroom that you happened to be sitting in alone and we started to talk than you passed out," I exclaimed.

"Serena I don't need a play by play just tell Raye!" He replied and hung up the phone, he always was a man of few words.

I dialed number 2, my speed dial on my phone.

"Raye, it's Serena. Look nothing happened last night I walked into a vacant bedroom, well at least I thought it was vacant but than I saw Darien and we talked for a few minutes before he fell onto the bed and passed out and right after that happened you came in the room," I explained. I could hear sobbing through the receiver, she'll either scream at me some more or believe me.

"That's all that happened? You promise?" She whined through little gasps of breath, would it surprise you to learn that she's won best actress at our schools "Oscars" two years in a row now?

"Yes that's all that happened, I would tell you the truth if I had done something like that, besides you should know me better I'm not having sex at this point in my life let alone with my best friends boyfriend." I said than yawned again.

"Okay, I believe you and you're right you are not someone who should have sex, see ya on Monday," and with that she hung up the phone.

A disaster avoided with some quick smooth talking, why do I feel guilty? Nothing did happen, not like I didn't think about it but it didn't happen. I sometimes think people look at me like I'm some sort of nymphomaniac, ironically this isn't the first accusation I've gotten. No one else gets blamed it's always me, I must be doing something wrong. Perhaps I should become a nymphomaniac than the rumors would become true and Raye would definitely hate me.

I feel controlled by her sometimes however her comment about me "not being someone who should have sex" irritates  
me, it adds to the controlling feeling it almost makes me wish I had of slept with Darien. The attraction is definitelythere, being that it's one sided would bug me though he said it last night Raye is a lot hotter than me, besides she put out the moment they first started dating and that's considered a satisfactory girlfriend not someone who creates mystery and makes him work for it. I don't understand how Darien never gets coined as a slut, but Raye is labeled as "easy" and he's slept with so many more women than she has men.

Monday at school…

I walked through the front doors of the school, watching all the faces. High school was always seems like everyone is famous; people gossip about people, know all your inner secrets because someone blabbed and there's always fights in Hollywood right? Speaking of fights, Raye was leaning her back against a locker while Darien stood there waving his hands about in commotion if I'm correct they're fighting. How do couples stay together when they fight so often?

"No you listen! First I think you slept with my best friend but now you're accusing me of sleeping with some random guy? You're the only one Darien I've ever fucked!" shouted Raye. If this was me in this situation I would certainly not be yelling who I've 'fucked' and who I haven't.

"Look whatever," answered Darien while turning down the hallway.

"This is always how you end conversations it doesn't make the problem go away it just makes it worse!" screamed Raye, I could see that she was crying at this point which would be where I come in to make her feel better.

"Raye what's wrong?" I questioned even though I was fully aware of their recent spat.

"Darien accused me of sleeping with some guy at the party!" she whined which was followed by a sniff.

"Why would he accuse you of that?" I asked, again playing ignorant seeing as he told me that 'she's probably fucking some guy in another room' or something like that…

"Because he's a conceited asshole! He never does anything wrong and I'm always the problem in our relationship…" She said in a sarcastic tone.

"You know that's not true Raye, maybe he just needs to calm down after all we are a small school and rumors spread quickly even untrue ones," I responded. Please break up please break up, that's all I could think as I watched her sob.

"You're right, I'll just have to go tell him it was all a mix up." She smiled weakly than followed his footsteps down the hallway, without a thank you good bye or anything. I always was the 'dear Abby' of my friends and I don't exactly know how I got this title; but I don't recommend being dear Abby to anybody for you're always left in the dust after you give them what you want and you have to sacrifice your own wants and needs for everyone else's.

"Serena!" I heard a male voice shout from down the hallway. It was Chad, a guy who lived with Raye's grandfather as an apprentice to his temple.

"Look I've been thinking and, well what are you doing this Friday?" questioned Chad looking a little pink in the face.

"Nothing, why?" I questioned, was he asking me out or am I over estimating again.

"Well there's this really cool restaurant opening up called "Kaba" it sounds pretty neat, I was wondering if you would like to go with me on a date?" He questioned his face turning even more crimson.

"Sure that would be fine, what kind of food do they serve before I agree to everything?" I questioned happily, I was actually happy he was know Darien but Chad was a really good looking guy plus he's actually kind to me.

"Oh really? Awesome I'll pick you up at how about six thirty?" He asked the color returning to his face. I giggled out loud watching his expression turn to relief from embarrassment.

"Sounds good, want to walk with me to our next class?" I asked while heading towards biology.

"Ya, I never got those last…." He trailed on about his biology homework but of course I dazed off but gave the satisfactory 'hmm' and 'I didn't get it either'. I am capable of paying attention but I generally choose not to, my own thoughts interest me too much I guess. I felt eyes staring at me from somewhere but I couldn't quite pin point it and when I turned around all I could see were these dark blue pools glaring at me, they were Darien's eyes.

Friday Morning…

"What's this Serena not even planning on telling your best girls that you're going on a date with the eligible Chad?" questioned Lita as she cornered me in the hallway with the other three.

"I didn't feel the need to," I replied while putting my books away in the top shelf of my locker.

"You didn't feel the need? Serena what if you decided to go on a date with someone who was a loser? Who made us look bad?" shouted Raye in horror. She was so rude all the time, making others feel bad about themselves, I mean think of how many people heard what she just said and right now at this very moment they're probably thinking does she see me as a loser? Unwanted is a horrible feeling and she just made at least 30 people self-consciously question themselves.

"Why would it matter if I was dating some loser?" I shot back glaring in embarrassment.

"It would matter for your sake," she replied that's when Minako stepped in.

"Back off Raye, you know that you can't shut Serena out you wouldn't win that fight too many people would be pissed with you," answered Minako.

"humph," Raye noised as she smiled slightly. "You mean you would make other people get pissed so they would convince me to let her back in,"

"So what if I did? It would work," smiled Minako.

"Just shut up okay? I'm going on a date with Chad who you all like if I recall so let's just drop this subject," I replied, I just stopped one of the biggest cat fights that would begin.

"Touché " whispered Amy too me as we began to walk down the hallway together. Unlike in movies when we walked down the hallway no one parted for us, not one told anyone to 'move' we did it the old fashion way, pushed.

That night…

6:pm, the clock read as I laid there on my bed naked staring at the ceiling, cloths a strewn all around my room. I couldn't help it there was nothing in my room to wear. I heard a knock on my bedroom door and my mom opened it a jar and than I heard a shriek.

"Yes I'm naked," I said rolling my eyes as I heard the door slam shut.

"Serena why are you naked? Is there a boy somewhere hidden in there?" She asked panicky.

"No mom he's not here yet, I can't find anything to wear! I don't even know what panties and bras I should wear!" I whined, now I was being the drama queen. I heard the door open slightly and my mom threw some underwear at me.

"These are cute and please put something on if you intend me to help you," she said. Great, a date my mother feels the need to dress me on.

"I don't need your help, I was merely explaining my frustration," I explained, the panties and bra were cute though. She than opened the door and set down a laundry basket.

"Okay I won't help you but I suggest that you actually get up and get dressed if you're going on a date its almost six thirty!" nagged my mom. I slowly raised out of my bed and picked up a pair of jeans I had thrown on the ground, they were my favorite they accented my curves. I was never a very curvy girl I had small ones that barely even showed to my dismay I was too thin, not that I was complaining about that but sometimes I ran into trouble with it.

I than grabbed a tight plaid button up shirt and slipped it on and swiftly did up the buttons. As I just finished doing up the last button the door bell rang and my mother called me downstairs.

"Chad?" I questioned only to turn to see Darien standing at my door, alone.

"We need to talk alone," He explained eyeing my mom.

"Are you Chad?" Asked my mother ignorantly.

"No I'm Darien Chiba it's nice to meet you Mrs. Tuskino," Said Darien extending his hand to my mom.

"Oh nice to meet you," She smiled sweetly than continued to the kitchen.

"What do you need to talk to me about? Chad will be here any minute now you know that!" I shot at him a little confused as to why he was here.

"That's what I need to talk to you about, look Chad doesn't really like you he just wants to get in your pants," whispered Darien into my ear.

"What are you talking about? Chad is a pussy cat!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"No pussy hunter is more like it, he's not a virgin you know that? He's known by like all the guys as the biggest slut ever," explained Darien.

"Even if he was why do you care? Isn't this what you want me to get laid?" I shot back. He didn't answer just stared at me in an almost glare now.

"I don't want you to get laid by some ass hole Serena I want you to have sex with whoever you feel right doing it with," He explained turning his head away, was that a remorse in his eye? Nope.

"I think you're very wrong about Chad, so if you'll excuse me please leave," I said while opening the door behind him so he could leave.

"I'm not leaving," he replied and stood firmly in place at my door step.

_Free Talk:_

_I hope you guys liked this chapter, I'm sorry if you feel Serena's personality is boring but she has to be like this now for later chapters. Anyways review more please I love to hear comments and criticism on this story!_


	3. In Control

__

Free talk:

Hello all thanks for reviewing my last chapter Just for reference I have changed my user name to "Alisabeth" from Fuschia, Alisabeth is my real name and I like it better than a color lol. So here's the latest chapter and I hope you like, oh and again please excuse my grammar.

****

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: Chapter 3

"Like I said why do you care?" I questioned while bending down to tie up my shoes.

"I told because you're Raye's friend and I don't need to be hearing about how Serena was let down by some poor pathetic guy for days upon days…" He stopped abruptly and looked hard into my eyes. This was most definitely a lie for one thing Raye wouldn't go on about anybody's miseries for days other than her own let alone me she doesn't give a damn about anybody other than someone who will help influence her status in the school, not that it can get any higher.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned while giving him a cold stare back, just than I heard a car door slam and I watched Chad slowly make his way up the driveway. "Please Darien I'm a big girl I'm not about to let myself get into a car with a man I don't trust so please leave, this is embarrassing!"

"whatever," He spat and than jumped down the few steps outside and made his way to his black Z71.

"Hey Darien what are you doing here?" asked Chad in a friendly manner.

"Fuck off Chad," He scowled after passing Chad and with the slam of a truck door he was gone.

"Hey Serena, wow you look really pretty," stated Chad as he offered me my coat. Pretty, at this point in my life I consider this an insulting term. I've observed guys use it before on women it's what they say when they have nothing else to say. They might as well just say wow you look average, you're not really hot but I guess you're not ugly so you're pretty. Sure some disagree with this theory but I have an example to back my theory. Ever watch a girl show a guy a picture of her not so pretty best friend and say 'don't you think she's so hot?' without fail the guy, not wanting to insult his girlfriend will say 'ya she's pretty' my point made.

"Thanks," I smiled, than noticing his eyes wander up and down my petite figure I pulled the coat tight over my chest.

"Can we go or do I have to meet your parents?" He joked while leaning against the door frame.

"We can leave, and no you definitely don't have to meet my parents," I giggled politely while turning to head towards the kitchen. As I opened the door that went to the kitchen I bumped into a small figure who had been staring through the door that was open a jar.

"Oh Serena the other guy was so much better looking why couldn't you have stuck with him?" sighed my mother while returning back to the kitchen counter.

"Because this one cares about me," I replied while kissing her on the cheek and returned to Chad who was waiting patiently for me at the door.

"Shall we?" He smiled while holding his hand out to me. Chad always had this diviner appeal to him, he was goofy no questions asked and he dressed relatively the same. Once dark blue faded jeans and a t-shirt which I guess complimented his mop of light brown hair that covered his smoldering gray eyes and his unshaven chin gave him this look like he was a cowboy.

"Let's go," I laughed at his medieval manners. When we approached Chad's navy blue t-bird he ran to the other side of the car and opened my door for me in true gentlemen fashion. Darien had to have been wrong about this boy.

_At the restaurant…  
_ "Serena I often wonder why you never have a boyfriend?" Chad asked while his eyes took rest on my neck, an odd place for eyes to linger but none the less. If Darien was so wrong than wht was I so tense.

"It's a mystery," I stuttered, than recovered my speech with a grin worth of the Cheshire cat himself.

"A mystery indeed, I've been meaning to ask you on a date for a long time actually because there's something I wanted to talk to you about," He stated getting my attention with how serious his goofy face had become. What was he going to ask, will you loose your virginity too me? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but if I'm so paranoid than why does it feel weird. That's it before he has his chance of bringing it up I'm butting in.

"Look Chad before you say anything I just have to make this clear I'm not interested in loosing my virginity to you," I explained politely, but instead of the cocky look I was expecting his face turned completely confused. He looked at me as if I had just told him I was a man.

"I beg your pardon but you think I want to sleep with you? I'm sorry Serena but that was never my intention. I couldn't I'm not in love with you," He smiled sincerely conveying the truth.

This is the gentlemen that I knew existed, Darien lied to me for some unknown reason because one thing is certain Chad is still a virgin. 'I couldn't I'm not in love with you' those words are so pure and poetic without even trying to be. No guy who was trying to get in a girls pants could ever say something so natural without meaning it.

"I'm sorry I must have been misinformed of something, I shouldn't listen to silly rumors," I blushed, he than smiled in understanding.

"Its okay I understand that happens sometimes but what I was really trying to get at was, that this date is kind of a 'fake date' as it were. Please don't think I'm a conceited jerk because in truth I think you would do the same. I am smitten with Raye and she stays with that stupid ass hole Darien…" He continued on but my attention span grew thin the moment he referred to our date as 'fake'.

So I was duped here to talk about someone else, isn't that how things go though? I'm the dear Abby to everyone now it seems. To think Chad had to ask me out on a date to get information on Raye. I feel like screaming at him 'if there was some way I could get one night alone with Darien Chiba without the whole world thinking I was fucking him I would! You could have Raye I don't care!' but now that would be rude and so is what I'm about to do.

"Look Chad, if you wanted to ask me about Raye why did you need to ask me out on a date to do it?" I asked as politely as I could, whilst attempting to calm the fire dragon buried deep inside me.

"I didn't think you would want to hang out with me on a friendly basis, plus no offence Serena but you barely seem to go out these days," He replied looking at my shocked face.

"Okay look, I can't help you with Raye and next time you want to talk about some other girl with me just ask me out as a friend for coffee not on a date!" I whispered sharply than turned from the table and headed towards the exit, I hope he was dumb founded and embarrassed.

I've always been told I'm self centered by my mom and even by Minako, but recently I've realized how much I give up for everyone else and how little I get back in return. Whether it's getting my boyfriend some spectacular ring for his birthday present and him turning around and handing me a regular ball point pen with my name engraved on it… He did the engraving himself when he was stoned, wow thoughtful.

I all of a sudden heard this horn honk at me and when I turned around I saw a familiar Z71 slowing down to me, it was Darien. Well now it makes sense why he didn't want me to go out with Chad, he didn't want me telling Chad nonsense about him and Raye… Not that I have nonsense to tell Darien.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked me as we drove down the road.

"Ha, nope he just embarrassed the hell out of me," I smirked looking out my side window. "I didn't even get to eat my dinner because I left before it had arrived,"

"Are you hungry?" questioned Darien as he turned his truck down another road.

"A little," I replied smiling meekly at how comfortable this felt, to be in a truck with him and not fighting. "Why did you tell me he wanted to have sex with me, when in truth all he wanted was info on you and Raye?"

"I didn't want you to go on a date with him because I knew that's what he would do," He answered.

"Why couldn't you have just told me that?" I asked a little confused.

"Would you have listened to me? No you wouldn't have, in fact you didn't even listen when I told you he was a slut," he whispered, I than watched as a small smirk grew from the corner of his lip.

"Mr. Chiba are you smirking at me?" I giggled while propping my head on my arm against the window.

"Never," He answered while breaking into a full hearted smile that showed his small dimples on his cheeks, I guess I was one of those girls who cherished every little detail of people even down to their small dimples.

"And why are you smirking at me?" I laughed.

"'Cause you're making me laugh, and you never make me laugh so it's weird," he said while trying to cover up his laughter. "So what did Chad ask you about me and Raye?"

"He just basically confessed his love for her than I didn't listen to the rest I was far to humiliated to care," I explained.

"He confessed his love? He's not in love with her…" He trailed on about Chad.

"Are you in love with her?" I interrupted him, this I could see threw him off guard and the truck began to reach a stop. I looked around and we were in the parking lot of a drive in restaurant.

He shut off the automobile and faced me looking into my light blue eyes.

"Am I in love with her?" he repeated my question. "No, how could I be in love with a thorn in my side?"

I was shocked, he wasn't drunk this time and yet he just completely insulted Raye and not only that but to her best friend, is this some pathetic attempt to get me to repeat it to Raye and have her dump him so he doesn't have to do it? Of course I wouldn't do that he would leave my life forever and I'd never even speak with him again.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked him staring back at him, the feeling of being lost was beginning to come over me for the first time maybe it's because him and I are alone for once with no way of someone getting it back to Raye.

With one swift movement he leaned his head closer to mine and when his forehead touched mine he continued to stare than brought his taken lips to mine until they met in one soft touch and within seconds the feeling was gone. He returned to his position of sitting up right staring straight ahead at the menu on the roof of the restaurant.

"And why did you just kiss me?" I inquired, thinking maybe it had some meaning, well maybe not thinking it's more like hoping.

"Because you were there," He answered while rolling down his window for the approaching waiter.

"We'll take two cheese burgers and side order of fries please," he said as the waiter took his order and sped off on his roller skates.

"I can't believe it was because I was there," I said out loud and before I realized it, his hand was on my back enclosing my whole body towards him, he followed by kissing my lips again this time longer than last and a little more rough, as if he needed the touch.

"I kiss you because of who you are to me, you're innocent and I haven't kissed innocent in a long time you taste sweet to me," He remarked. In all honesty this line sounded kind of cheesy but at the same time reasonable, for I was definitely as innocent as it gets for him.

"So are you implying that you'd rather make out with me than Raye?" I suggested, knowing very well what the answer would be.

"Raye is skilled in what she does because she's been with so many before, but she lacks conviction to what she does; however you put yourself on the line the moment my lips touch yours I can feel you quiver in fear of not knowing what you're doing and I miss that feeling. I had almost completely forgotten it until I kiss you here now," revealed Darien, not the answer I was expecting but definitely an answer that would do.

"Does this mean you like me or… Are you merely using me for your temporary rush?" I questioned turning my head away from him, this was not a hurt turn away it was more or less me doing it subconsciously, and if there was a hurt look to follow I would be able to clear my face of it before he turned me back to him like I know he will. Instead of an answer though I heard a bust of laughter.

"Serena everything is so serious with you, everything has to be so official and that's why I could never like you. Besides you of all people should have realized by now I don't like girls like you I like the fiery ones who give in to what ever I want," He smiled just as the waiter pulled up to our window and dropped off our dinner.

"Here's some money for the food, I can walk the rest of the way home. Oh and Darien if you ever try to kiss me again I'll kick you in the balls," I spat and slid off the seat and out the door. I intended to walk home, it wasn't far and I was wearing comfortable shoes and I most certainly didn't feel like being used for a temporary high. I heard his engine fire up and pull closely behind me.

"Serena get in the car I'll drive you home, and I promise I won't try to kiss you again," He shouted. It's okay if you do try to kiss me again Darien, I tell you one thing but I'm always thinking the opposite for my reputation's sake.

" Fine," I yelled in response and ran to the passenger side door then climbed into the seat next to his.

"I'm sorry," He whispered while sharply turning a corner making me sway against the window.

"For what?" I asked adjusting myself to sitting upright again.

"For kissing you, I've been going out with your best friend for six months now and I just cheated on her with you," He spoke softly.

"Not like it's the first time," I replied sarcastically.

"Actually it was the first time if you must know, I never touched another girl since I started dating Raye. No one else sparks my interest," He added as he adjusted the radio station dials till he found some song that tickled his intellectual interest.

"Do I spark your interest?" I asked turning to face him and for five brief seconds he took his eyes off the road and focused his deep blue pools on me as if I was the only person he had ever seen.

"Does it matter if you do or don't? I'm with your best friend and not even you can change that, if dozens of girls who are a billion times more hot than you throw themselves at me all the time and I refuse them than what chance do you have of sparking my interest?" He commented.

"I give you a rush," I smirked to myself while turning out the window, I wasn't expecting a remark to this and I was right he was thinking on it and even if he thinks about it for the next 3 years, the fact that he thought about it is good enough for me. He pulled into my drive way and turned off the engine and turned to me.

"Our little secret?" He asked sincerely, of course it's our little secret it's not like I want you out of my life, but not like I'm going to let you know that.

"We'll see," I smiled while turning to leave when I felt a hand clasp around my wrist.

"Is this a secret Serena?" He inquired desperately seeking my inner thoughts in which I keep guarded so tight that the true thoughts don't escape to my facial features.

"I can't promise you anything," my face now growing closer to his. Do it again Darien and I'll keep it a secret until I die. His face leaned into mine and he kissed me softly on the lips, the kiss began to deepen and he slipped his muscular arms around my waste pulling me closer towards him than slowly reaching his hands to my arms he placed them around his neck in his tutoring way. His mouth was open and desperately seeking entrance so our tongues could meet, but this is where I will cut off for if this gets any more intense I'll never stop myself. I pulled away reluctantly than slid off the seat to the ground and slammed the truck door shut, so this is what it feels like to be in control.

__

Free Talk:

sorry this was a shorter chapter but if you want them out quickly they won't be as long I can't write like that unfortunately. Please review, your reviews mean everything to me!


	4. Used

__

Free Talk:

__

This story is definitely going in the direction I want it to and I'm pretty much set for the rest of the story. Thank you for all your reviews, I love to get them it lets me know if I'm doing a good job or a bad job Oh and I discovered that a lot of my grammar errors are due to when I change the writing format to HTML…I've learned it's not me! …Well some are probably still due to me but all in all I feel a little better about myself.

****

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: Chapter 4

When I got inside I peeked out the window and watched as Darien's Z71 backed out the drive way. Here's a small confession I've had boyfriends as you already know, but not one of them has touched me like that boy has. It's true I'm not innocent in the kissing department in fact I've been told I'm horrible, which is why my lip will quiver every time I kiss someone. Something nags at me though, I feel the person who just let Darien kiss her wasn't me. If it was me than I would have pulled away and yelled 'Stop it you're Raye's, fuck off!' but I didn't I let it happen. It was a secret desire that I never thought would ever happen and now the repercussion that could come of it, what if this was a big joke and he goes and tells Raye that I kissed him? It wouldn't be true but she's so insecure that she would believe anything he said.

Raye and I are friends yes, but I believe it's more or less because we feel we have to. She chooses everybody before me, even Minako her mortal enemy. I'm so fake around her too I do things and say things because she does, I'm too afraid to stand up to her and if she ever laughed at me for something everyone else would make fun of me for it too. I used to like to paint but Raye told me my style of painting wasn't very good, so I quit and was afraid to show anyone anything I used to paint afraid of what they would say. If she was a true friend she would have encouraged me to strengthen my skill, even if she thought there was no way I could become good.

"Serena? How did the date go?" Inquired my mom as she peeked into my bedroom, I suppose she's frightened that I'll be laying here naked again.

"It was fine the dinner was good," I called back in reply, unaware that she had stepped into the bedroom at this point.

"I saw you came home with the tall dark and handsome man from before, not the scruffy cowboy," smiled my mom while touching her hand to my forehead.

"Your point?" I asked almost rudely.

"I saw you kiss him, is there any way this boy might become someone you're serious about?" she asked sincerely. Wow she sounds super hopeful, wait she saw us kiss.

"Mother, if there is one thing I ask of you now it is this do not tell anyone you saw me kiss him," I whispered in a panic, bolting right up in my bed too look at her.

"Why?" She interrogated me.

"He's…Well…Seeing someone.." I bit my lip knowing the response that was to come of this. She stood up and got off my bed, here it comes.

"You're playing with fire you know that? If you come home with a black eye and a broken rib do not come crying to me I will not support your decision," she said firmly and headed out the door in an almost angry stomp.

This was also a lie, if I came home with a black eye and broken rib she'd rush me to emergency than go and find who did and beat them with my little brother's baseball bat. Seems a lot of people are lying to me these days.

__

Monday at school…

What was I expecting? To hear a rumor that Darien and Raye had broken up and that he was seeking the timid Serena? Or was it that I was expecting to hear that Darien cheated on Raye with Serena? Either way I felt awkward being there and everyone knows if you feel awkward chances are you look awkward, not only that but guilt was written all over my face. Maybe it was just a dream. Couldn't have been for when I touch my lips I still feel the magic.

"Serena how was your weekend?" Asked Minako as she approached me from behind.

"Oh you know the usual pretty dull," I replied and gave a little giggle after it, again making me look even more awkward than I already felt.

"Oh you know what I'm talking about, did he kiss you?" Laughed Minako. Oh god she knows, she must have saw it was the nosey waiter!

"Well…Well…He…" I sputtered and tried to say something but than she cut me off.

"I'm just bugging, it's okay the whole school knows already you don't need to make up excuses about it we don't care," She smiled while putting her arm around my shoulders and started to lead me down the hallway. They couldn't I would be shred if they actually knew. Chad! They're talking about Chad, Darien must have kept his mouth shut good than I will too.

"Ya well as it turned out I just like him as a friend and that's all we'll remain," I replied casually, now realizing the big mistake I made I can be more at ease, not so paranoid.

"Serena can I talk to you?" questioned a deep voice from behind me, a voice that I've been thinking about since that night where we kissed several times.

"Sure," I replied than left Minako standing there alone. This conversation I could already tell was not for her ears.

"Can I stop by after school I need to speak with you," He stated, rather than asked.

"Ya I don't mind, what do you need to talk to me about?" I inquired while leaning against the wall.

"This," was all he said as he sped off down the hallway.

As Confused as I was at to what he was talking about the day went by fairly quickly, and no one was the wiser about our little escapade. Perhaps I'm making far to much of a big deal out of it, but I feel as if it meant something. I always feel that there are hidden meanings in people which I suppose isn't a good quality. Mystery is what eludes most things I think about including the people around me, just look at Raye I don't know who she is or Amy or Lita. There are some friends who I can connect with and others I can't unfortunately the people I am friends with are those who I find most difficult to connect with.

In Kindergarten I made this friend her name is Naru, her and I would do everything together but as time passed by I did a horrible thing, because Raye and the others didn't really connect with Naru she was cut from the group. I still love her as a best friend to this day and she considers me the same but we never talk or hang out because I know what Raye will say. This is probably the most horrible thing I've don't in my entire life and I regret it but I feel helpless as to fix it.

__

After School…

"Serena there's a young man here to see you!" Called my mom from upstairs in an almost angry tone. I knew who it was, it had to be Darien my mom didn't like me seeing him because he was going out with someone else. If she knew it was Raye she would make sure we never talked again in our entire lives.

"Hey," I said calmly while inviting him upstairs to my bedroom, if my father was home he would never let Darien get near the stairs but because my dad is away he's allowed.

"What is it that you need to talk about?" I asked while eyeing him curiously. He looked uneasy in my bedroom, almost nervous. It's not like we were going to go have sex I'm not a slut in fact I'm physically incapable of it.

"Do you like me more than a friend?" He asked giving me this intense look with his hopeless loosing pools of dark blue.

"Why?" I asked, I'm trapped I have no idea do I tell him or will it back fire on me?

"Because I think you need to know that I have no interest in you what so ever in that way, yes I like kissing you but so what were not going to be anything more than friends. I'm with Raye and that's not going to change I like being with her, there was absolutely no hidden meaning in kissing you before I just like to kiss you that's all there is," he explained rather flatly.

So that was it, there really was no romantic connection he just wanted a good kiss, an innocent kiss. I feel robbed of something I thought I had, something that I thought would be there. I can't let this emotion show, if I do he'll know I like him and he'll know everything by that one face I know I will make.

"I don't like you that way Darien, and if you thought I did you were sorely mistaken. I like kissing you too but I would never get on Raye's bad side by liking her boyfriend, I'm not an idiot," I finished.

"Hold on, I'm sorry if I sound conceited talking to you like this but Raye also thinks you like me," He cut in.

Hold on, did he just say Raye knows? However if Raye knows than I'm wondering why she hasn't approached me about it.

"Now not that it's a big deal but why would she think that? She's wrong," I added quickly.

"When we first started dating she told me you tend to like her boyfriends because they're friendly and you don't have much contact with the opposite sex," He explained casually.

Casual, he was just saying this as if it wasn't a big deal and yet here I am with no reply. As much as I hate to admit it, it's true I do tend to like Raye's boyfriends and not just Raye's but almost all my friend's boyfriends. I probably sound horrible but it's not like I went and stole them I just developed a weak attraction to them, except for Darien I full heartedly like him. Unlike most people Raye dates sweet, smart and attractive guys the three qualities I tend to like. Most girls tend to like that about guys or so I've come to notice over the past few years, it's probably really unfair and judgmental and it's not like it's a requirement to date us ladies because face it no one goes by what they like we can't be that picky and if you are than you'll miss out on a lot of great people. Raye will only date guys who have shallowness to match her own.

"That's true, but in this case it's different," I replied, what else could I say I couldn't very well lie to the boy he'd see right through me.

"How is it different? I'm sorry this seems so conceited and perhaps as if I'm lying to your face in which I'm not but I don't even know I think I should go," He said while giving me the most intense stare across the room.

"I think you should also, no offence but you're treating me like I'm nine and I have self decency too thank you very much. I am not someone you can just kiss anytime you want, that's not my personality so do me a favor and leave me alone," I replied. That was the most random response but it was the type of random that saves your ass in certain situations. Like right now for example that was probably a 'girl power moment' as Lita would call them, Lita is an active feminist and loves to say things in favor of women.

"You said it yourself though you like kissing me so what's the big deal?" He asked moving his head close to my face. I slowly pressed my fingertips to his lips.

"It is a big deal, you're kissing someone who you have no attraction to," I said looking rather displeased with him, hoping he would take my lies as an incentive.

"Doing this though…" He removed my fingertips from his mouth. "Makes me want you even more though," He pushed his lips forcefully onto mine, and being me I didn't deny them like I had wanted to. He continued to coax me to open my mouth so our tongues could meet, 'Lord Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil…' I thought as my mouth parted and he slipped his tongue into mine, we were entwined my hands were running through his hair his hands were slowly moving to rest on my hips, at this point I was sitting upon his lap. I could not let myself loose control like this, I was in the drivers seat he was merely a passenger giving me directions.

"Stop," I mumbled through kisses as his mouth reached my neck and he planted butterfly kisses along it. I just discovered my weak spot, my neck every kiss he planted there made me want to do everything in my power to make him mine.

"This has to stop," I pulled away and looked deep into his eyes.

"Why?" asked Darien giving me the most sad eyes I'd ever seen.

"Because you're doing this to me and if you're not wanting me to like you than you're doing a pretty bad job," I answered, I could feel my lips curling into a pout.

"You do like me don't you?" He asked sincerely.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Shouted a voice from the door, I turned to see Minako standing there. Here I was practically straddling Darien with lip stick smeared on my mouth, there was no way out of this one.

"Shit," was all Darien could let escape his lips. I slowly slipped off Darien's lap and motioned for Minako to come sit down for there was much to discuss.

"Holy shit would Raye be sooo pissed with you two, it would be so funny!" laughed Minako, I wasn't completely worried when it was her who entered my bedroom because I know she and Raye have an on going feud and for her to know this little secret would make her feel all the more powerful against her.

"So you're not going to say anything?" questioned Darien.

"No, however does this mean that there is something going on between you two? To think Raye was just saying the other day that she's never felt threatened by you likeing all her boyfriends because she never thought you could do anything, you sure showed her," smiled Minako, she than turned to Darien who was sitting at the window.

"There's nothing going on between Serena and I we merely just like to make-out that's it," He replied firmly. "I like Raye but she lacks a certain quality that Serena has when kissing,"

"Oh and what is that quality that you need so bad to be practically using Serena for?" retorted Minako, she never could stay out of affairs concerning my well being.

"I'm not using her, if I was it would have only been a one time thing before I told her to move onto someone else," he snapped back.

"Innocence," I replied to Minako's actual question. He was getting quite touchy about using me, maybe I am being used. I never really thought about it like that, I mean I know that he doesn't like me and he just liked to get his 'high' off me but I never actually conceived it as being "used" That's just not what I referred to it as. If I am being used than wouldn't I be avoiding him at all costs not beating around the bush as it were and telling him no while thinking yes? If anyone is being used here I think it's him.

__

Free Talk:

I hope this chapter is satisfying for you all, I'm not sure if it's long enough at all. But yes that's my grammar error with the whole converting to HTML. So I'm sorry for the inconvenience and distraction my horrible grammar causes but I hope you will be patient with it. Thanks please leave me your comments and reviews!


	5. guilty as charged

Free talk:

__

There once was this young girl who partook in a biology course, the course was very difficult but she managed to pass the horrible tough midterm with a high score due to ignoring everyone and everything around her for a couple of weeks! The End.ß that is why this chapter took so long to come out.

Never Will We be that Wonderful: Chapter 5

I was just coming up the stairs with drinks for us all when I heard in a hushed down voice Minako speaking to Darien.

"You don't understand this do you? You like her and you can't even admit it to yourself!" She chastised.

"There is no attraction, sure she's pretty and ya what ever she's a great kisser but there is no way that I would ever go out with her!" He shot back in a stern voice.

_Pretty_ that godforsaken word, many a times have I been called "pretty" I still hate the word. When it's said about me I'm not sure whether to smile as if it were a compliment or shriek because I'm offended. I love the girls who I tell this discovery of mine too their answers are always the same, 'Wow the guys you know are dishonest, all the ones I know give real opinions,' if they actually listened and watch the facial expression of the guys they know they'd discover I'm right.

"You just don't get it do you? She's going to fall for you if she hasn't already and than you'll go on your merry little way with Raye and forget all about little innocent Serena. If you so much as come close to breaking her heart I will report you to Raye and I will tell her you forced yourself on her and that she was an object of your abuse, and don't think I won't," threatened Minako.

"I won't hurt her, besides you heard her yourself she doesn't like me that way," stated Darien. Idiot, anyone else would realize that I was lying.

"Arrrghhh! You're so stupid you know that!" shouted Minako.

"Okay okay I get the message, here how about this; if I break Serena's heart than you have full permission to not only tell Raye what ever the hell you want but you can also come and kick me in the balls. How about it?" offered Darien.

"I know underneath it all you're a nice guy, even Raye hasn't seen that. I swear she just thinks you're using her for sex," laughed Minako, not like it wasn't true.

Ever since Raye had sex for the first time, it's sad but most guys she's dated were in it for the sex. Her personality isn't that great, but she never complained once that a guy was using her for sex; I think it's because she enjoyed it just about as much as they did. If she didn't enjoy it the relationship would be short lived and over within a few weeks. Sadly most would call her a slut; however I respect her more than most nonvirgin girls, reason being is that Raye refuses to have sex right away this guy has to really mean something too her before she'll sleep with them. I believe if I was to have intercourse I would be the same way, I consider this one of her more admiring qualities.

"I brought the lemonade," I smiled while entering the room and placing the drinks on my table.

"Oh thanks Serena, you're such a sweetie," giggled Minako while taking a big gulp of my home made lemonade.

"Ya, uh thanks," Said Darien rather flatly as he downed the whole glass in less than a few seconds. "So I better be going I uh… Have a date with Raye I'll see you two tomorrow at school,"

Me and Minako both watched as he practically booted it out the door and down the stairs, I could just barely hear a 'thank you for having me' to my mom as the door slammed shut.

"Serena do you know what you're doing?" asked Minako, smacking me out of my trance.

"No," I laughed, in all honesty what was I doing? I was making out with my best friends boyfriend and fantasizing about something that will never happen. Oh not to mention that now I'm contemplating the idea of him and I sleeping together.

"Serena you are aware that you're messing with fire, and when you mess with fire you get burned!" She lectured.

"I know it's not like I'm stupid, but for some reason having him attracted to me even in this small amount makes me feel…" I dragged on almost being to shy to say what I had to.

"Makes you feel…" Minako continued on for me.

"Beautiful," I smiled, it was a smile that told her all she had to know. By that curve of my lips she learned that not only did I like Darien but he made me feel good about myself and that I didn't care if Raye no longer wanted to be my friend.

"He makes you feel beautiful, Serena what is beautiful anyways?" she inquired. Like she needed to be told what beautiful was, she had been scouted by models since she was in grade two. She's been the envy of all her friends for years and she's asking me what beautiful is?

"I think the definition of beautiful is different for everyone, I define it as someone who can turn heads and has the self esteem to wear a skimpy bikini no matter what their weight or skin condition," I bit my lip as I paused, speaking about this almost makes me cry every time. "Beautiful is thinking you're flawless, even if you're not…Beautiful is what I was never called and even now I doubt I'll ever be called beautiful. Being with him though, the hottest guy I've ever met makes me feel like I am beautiful and go ahead Minako call me stupid, but that's because you're so used to being beautiful that you don't take notice of those around you, and why I've never been noticed unless I have something interesting to say," by this point I could feel the tears welling up and the whining come to my voice, I just basically told my best friend that she was inconsiderate of others when all she wants to do is help me.

"Serena, I love you like a sister and you should know by now that I notice you all the time! You seem so happy and yet your speech leads you to look depressed. If you're so depressed than why don't you ever say anything? You come out with us all the time and boys ask you for your number," she explained, I know she was trying to help and ya some of what she was saying was true boys ask for my number occasionally but not nearly as often as all of my other friends. I should probably apologize, it seems at the present time that my judgment isn't that great.

"I'm sorry, you're the best friend I could ever ask for, I'm just acting melancholy lately. I'm depressed I'm just scared that if people found out about me and Darien they wouldn't understand and make assumptions that I'm being used," I exclaimed.

"I've been meaning to mention that to you, don't you feel like you're being used?" asked Minako.

"Not at all, what no one understands is that without my consent he couldn't kiss me no matter how hard he tried. It's so weird Minako, my voice will say no and yet my head is screaming yes at me. Its similar to a 'good Serena angel' and a 'bad Serena devil' my voice going with my head the good Serena and yet my body goes with the devil and in the end I just give in. I like him Minako and I wish I didn't it's the last thing I want," I confessed.

"I know you do, you always like her boyfriends. I'm going to let you in on a little secret though Serena, almost every guy you have ever liked has liked you in return you just never found out about it," she smiled, I couldn't tell if she was lying or telling the truth. Either way it sort of frightened me.

"You're lying, it's not cool to lie to me about such a sensitive subject," I answered, almost as if I myself had been joking.

"No it's true, I've had many confess to me. Haven't you noticed that the guys Raye goes out with and I become good friends? We do stay that way even when they break up. For instance do you remember Ryoki? What am I talking about of course you do, anyways Ryoki told you he didn't like you when him and Raye broke up, the next night him and I were chatting on msn when he confesses that he had quite an attraction to you but thought that because he had been Raye it would create waves in your friendship. True story whether you believe me or not," she explained cheerfully.

"You're kidding me? I was after Ryoki for months! Why did he like me?" I questioned, this is something that scares me. I can never figure out why guys like me, I'm not the most gorgeous girl in the world and my personality some times resembles a space cadet because I'm never hear on Earth.

"He said there was just something about the way you talked that he liked, he loved how you were always so nice and friendly to everyone even those he knew you didn't care for," She answered, it was almost as if this information had been building up in her and she just wanted to burst by telling me it all.

"And why were you not going to tell me this? Just out of curiosity of course," I asked, I was feeling giddy now like I always do after receiving such good information.

"Oh I don't know I just didn't feel you needed to know, but maybe you have a manipulative friendly personality. I think all you need to do is set your goal, no matter how impossible (he) may seem. Tell yourself that you're beautiful everyday and remind yourself why, 'cause if you don't I will. Third tell that goal of yours that you like him," Minako stood up and gave me her most optimistic look ever, she always told me my self-esteem needed uplifting.

"I'll do it, I'll get Darien Chiba if it's the last thing I do. However there will be one rule, I will not get in the way of him and Raye," I smiled. Minako's happy face vanished.

"How do you plan to get Darien but not get in the way of him and Raye?" She pondered out loud.

"Easy, I secretly use my manipulative flirting to get him to fall for me and leave Raye all on his own," I giggled, this was such a lie hopefully she would realize this.

"Brilliant it's fool proof!" Minako answered excited. I never knew she was that dense.

"Wow I never knew you were that dense, this plan could never work! I'm physically incapable of seducing! I'm a butter face!" I shot back at her, not in an angry tone of course.

"A what? Did you just butter face?" She laughed.

"You've never heard that term? Butter face, everything's hot but-her-face. In other words she's got a killer body but ugly face, guess you wouldn't be called it hence the reason you've never heard it," I explained, stupid me Minako would never be called this. Than again I myself have never been called this either thank God, I find it degrading all the names guys come up with for women. Lita agrees with me.

__

The Next Day…

"Serena!" I heard my name being called from down the hallway, I turned to see Raye standing there looking quite happy to see me, oh the irony.

"Hey Raye, how's it going?" I asked, try to be as friendly as possible you're doing a very bad thing behind her back.

"Good, want to do something today?" She asked happily. Not really, I'll probably end up spilling all my secrets to you and letting you know that you're boyfriend and I make out all the time, but that would be mean to say no now wouldn't it.

"Sure, what do you want to do?" I replied while opening my locker.

"Want to come over to my house?" She questioned while handing me a sucker from her bag, she was already licking hers.

"Thanks, and yeah sure that would be great," I smiled back and unwrapped the sucker and popped it into my mouth.

"Sweet see you at lunch than bye bye," with that she walked off down the hallway to where some girls who had taken an interest in her leaned against their lockers.

Lately Raye had become the attention of everyone, all the girls always liked her and admired her because she was so pretty and ever since she started dating Darien she became the envy of them all. Our table still remained us six only though no outsiders, unless of course to Lita and Ami's delight Darien's friends decided to sit with us also. Come to think of it though any girl who goes out with Darien Chiba becomes the top bitch in this pack of dogs, to be honest he's never dated the cutesy innocent type girls like me.

It's funny watching couples hold hands, even my old best friend Naru has a boyfriend, he's a nice guy despite what others would say about him. I miss her sometimes so much, I see her now walking hand in and hand with that guy and we smile at each other as we pass and occasionally will we say hi but she hangs out with my friends from before. It's weird how people you grow up with perhaps will hate the changes that you've made to yourself and they may be angry with you for not keeping in contact with them but if you were ever in real trouble they would be there in a second to help you feel better. I would be there for them too if any of them ever called me crying. It's hard to believe that your best friends are sometimes only temporary and that they will leave you the moment they get a boyfriend or realize that there's someone better…

"Serena how many times a day should you exercise your body in order to be in shape?" asked Mr. Hino.

"I have no idea how many times a day you should exercise does it actually matter?" I shot back, although I know I'm in the wrong first I just hate people interrupting my thoughts.

"It does so pay attention or I'll send you to the gym room to go exercise!" He shouted at me from the front of the classroom, I almost wish he would carry out with his threat but like always he never will.

__

That Evening…

"Hey Serena over here!" Called Raye, she was leaning against Darien's truck. I ran up and joined them. "Darien said that he would give us a lift to my house so we don't have to walk for once,"

"Oh that's great thank you very much," I smiled, this was awkward…Really awkward.

"No problem get in," He ordered while opening his own door and getting in to his truck.

"Oh ya this is your first time in his new truck isn't it Serena?" Asked Raye, it's like she knew this whole time that me and Darien had a thing and either that or fate is toying with me and making me feel guilty on purpose.

"Umm well. I…" I stuttered.

"No I picked her up one time when I saw her walking home along the side of the road," explained Darien while turning the corner causing me to bump into Raye.

"That was charitable of you," retorted Raye, I couldn't tell if she was angry or indifferent with that kind of remark in a happy voice.

"Yeah," was all I said, what else could I say? Anything else that I would say could create hell for everyone around me.

The rest of the drive was tense, and I think even Raye knew that something was up. Our abnormal silence I think perhaps freaked her out even, Darien and I generally bicker about everything driving Raye nuts but I almost think now he's afraid of me.

"Bye Serena," Called Darien as he stood there waving at the side of his truck.

"Umm Bye," I called back watching him turn and get into his Z71. It was so weird having him say my name again.

"Grandpa I don't need this fuck off!" Yelled Raye at the top of her lungs as she slammed her bedroom door shut, her grandfather and her always fought ever since her family died. She's technically a priestess but she rarely practices any of her religion.

She's never really told any of her friends what happened to her parents and siblings but we all think it involves a lake outside the city, we think this because we were planning on going to lake Oshinibi last summer but as soon as we mention the name of the lake Raye's face went white and she ended up passing out. Of course being the brave Raye that she is she blamed it on the flu virus that had been going around but we know better.

"Sorry Serena, I'm sure you think I'm rude telling my grandfather to fuck off. I can't help it though he makes me so angry, he's always trying to take my father's place and it never works!" She vented, when Raye's on her own and not around other people she's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet, that's why I'll consider her a best friend.

"Have you ever told him that he can't replace your father?" I asked, trying my best to be sympathetic.

"Thousands of times he just never gets the message, no one is like my father he was an independent free spirit. Not a slave to his religion and not someone who acts like someone's father," She spat bitterly.

"Serena I need to ask you something, seeing as you're someone who generally observes a lot that goes on around you. Have you seen any girls with Darien lately?" asked Raye while hugging her pillow tighter to her chest.

"Not really why?" I asked, that's a lie girls are always with Darien.

"I'm getting the impression that he might be seeing someone on the side… You know like cheating on me," She gave me the most sad look that I've ever seen.

How is it I always end up in these situations? How is it that no one else lives a soap opera? Does she suspect me? Right here is where I begin to let my mind wander to every possible answer I could give her each one frightening to say, if I let anything about him and I slip she'll be pissed; but say she knows and I don't let anything slip than she'll think I'm a dishonest friend. I have no way of escaping this dismal twist of fate…

Free Talk:

__

Not a lot of Darien and Serena action… Sorry this is stuff that's important to the conflict of the story. To those who hate how Serena is being used by Darien, I hate it too and I'm writing the story! It's just something that needs to be done though for the good of the story. Anyways I hope you like this chapter, I was just curious though is there any guys reading this story? Thanks! Please review it what keeps me writing!


	6. Accidentally in Love

****

Free Talk:

Newest chapter for you all… Hope you didn't forget about this story! I took a while for this chapter I apologize! I'm not a quick updater as it appears :( sorry!

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: **Chapter 6**

If she knows something and I say I know nothing than she will know I'm lying, but if she never knew anything in the first place and I confess than she will be super pissed. Either way I have to make up my mind sometime today.

"Sorry I shouldn't have said that, I guess I'm a paranoid girlfriend. Wouldn't matter if he was cheating on me I've got the hots for Motoki right now anyways," she smiled to herself.

"I'm sorry what did you just say?" I asked coming out of my thought trance.

"I said I've got the hots for Motoki right now, didn't you hear? I'm surprised Lita hasn't bitched about me behind my back to you by now. Ya I was at the café he works at and I saw him working and we were talking for a while and I started going there every Wednesday just to sit and talk with him. Looks innocent but him and I both know deep down inside that it's not," Explained Raye.

My mouth dropped and the temptation of confessing my infatuation with Darien along with the trials of us making out in his truck were dying to spring from my voice box and deliver themselves on a silver platter just to watch her face look hurt if only for a minute.

"You're kidding me right?" I stated more than asked I suppose.

"Why? Do you have a thing for Motoki too?" She inquired jokingly.

"No! And there's so many reasons why I wouldn't! Motoki is Darien's best friend for starters and although the two can't admit it Motoki and Lita have had a thing going on for almost eight months now!" I spilled, and what's this laughter is evoking from her mouth.

"So what? It's time Lita learned how to share it's not like she's never taken anything from me!" shot back Raye, that's a lie Raye takes but has never been taken from. "Serena you crack me up, and here I thought you would be glad; it means you and Darien can go out when him and I break up because I broke up with him! Besides its preposterous Darien breaking up with me for you, I was kidding besides I didn't say I wanted to break up with Darien right now,"

"Why is that preposterous?" I asked pathetically. I should not have asked that, now is when all hell will break loose, she's going to have a billion more questions to follow this one. I am intimidated.

"What are you purposing Serena?" She laughed, however her laugh was not the normal cackle it sounded a bit choked up.

"I'm not purposing anything, what I meant by it is that you always say it's preposterous or impossible for someone who thinks you're hot to think I'm hot to!" I exclaimed, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Here comes her sympathy and apologies.

"Oh Serena I don't mean it like that," She sighed and pulled me into her arms.

"I'm not saying someone like Darien could never like you because that is entirely untrue and you know it! What I'm saying is my boyfriends aren't about to leave me for you I'm not implying it in a mean way. I am merely stating a fact, the boys I date work to hard to get me and keep me to just dump me like that for someone who they didn't work so hard for. I consider myself to be a privilege not a right,"

How can she be so conceited? A privilege not a right? I don't think Darien worked all that hard to get her, if anything I think she worked hard to get him. Darien is probably the most eligible man in our high school, he's our royalty and whoever dates him becomes royalty. Raye confides in me her desire for Motoki, now I question whether or not she is simply using Darien to gain popularity or if she really loves him like she says she does.

Later that Evening…

"RAYE! Darien is here!" Shouted Grandpa up the stairs.

"Darien? What's he here for?" pondered Raye as she made her way down the stairs, I quietly followed with my cell phone to my ear. I was trying get a hold of my parents so that I could go home.

"What a sweet surprise," Smiled Raye while standing on her tippy toes to give Darien a small kiss, and yet I show nor feel jealousy.

"I came to drop off some clothes you left at my house last time you were over," He explained then followed to hand her a plastic bag with assortments of clothing in it.

"Oh hey perfect timing want to give Serena a lift home?" She smiled sweetly at him, this relationship was a sham and I was the only one who knew it or at least I was the only one who could see it.

"Sick I don't want Serena in my truck," He replied, I could tell he was kidding the way his eyes pierced through mine and a small curve of a smile faintly showed on his lips.

"Darien be nice, now Serena this is why Darien could never like you," She laughed while handing me my coat. She did not just say that, she doesn't know anything and yet Darien who does will now be completely confused. I walked slowly behind Darien as we walked down to his truck and I climbed into the passenger side. I did up my seatbelt as normal and he started the truck and drove out of the drive way, right about now is when my stomach makes grows butterflies and the feeling or sheer nervousness is my predominant feeling.

"Okay I was going to avoid asking but what the hell was Raye talking about back there?" questioned Darien a little angry.

"It was from our conversation that we were having earlier in the evening," I answered while adjusting my legs, this was going to be awkward.

"She thinks you like me?" He questioned. Okay this was it I can no longer take this, everyone knows I like Darien for Gods sake. Why don't I just come out and say it? Oh right because I'm a pansy.

"For God sake Darien everyone thinks I like you!" I shot back, didn't mean to sound so pissed off. "Even you think I like you!"

"Raye was never serious in her accusations but that freaks me out when she accuses you right in front of me, you didn't say anything to her right?" He inquired.

"Do you think I am stupid? What am I saying of course you do everyone does, I am stupid. I don't know what I am doing if I get caught for what I've done then everyone will hate me!" I cried. I heard the truck slow down to a stop and I looked around, we were in a parking lot of an abandoned fair ground.

"What are we doing here?" I asked sitting up straight to look at him.

"Serena do you not want me to be around you anymore?" Asked Darien with a serious tone of voice.

"Why would I want that?" I asked, now realizing all I just said would give him the impression I want him to go away. Yes I do want him to go away I wish I never liked him to begin with! I sometimes feel as if I am the daughter off that movie "Mermaids" trying to lead a celibate life and yet here I am in a truck alone with a guy in a parking lot of an abandoned fair ground, If I was ever to loose my virginity now is looking like the time.

"With all that you say to me I've always gotten the impression that you wanted me to either be your actual boyfriend or leave your life completely. So I think right now you're going to have to make a decision," He said quietly while moving a little closer to me, I wish he would back away it would make this so much easier.

He slowly put his hand on my hip and moved the back of his hand up and down my leg, giving my body shivers. I felt his hand pull my face closer to his and he kissed me tenderly on the lips than continued to caress my leg.

"Do you want me to go away?" He mumbled through quick kisses.

"I like you," I replied, there I had said it in a moment of passion it came out my true feelings and yes I am scared of the repercussion. He pulled away and looked at me as if studying my features.

"You like me," He replied as if baffled by my confession, my dirty little confession. I have sinned oh how I sin.

"I have liked you since before you dated Raye, I could never tell you because I know that I am not near as attractive as Raye or any other girl you have dated for that matter. I don't put out or at least haven't put out. I have a great body and nice hair but that's all I've got to work with. I can't heighten your popularity and I'm not an air head so therefore I am more observant making me appear weird," I explained and I could feel the moist tears building up in my eyes, my hands rushed to cover my face; I don't want to be looked at now. I felt two large hands grip my inner wrists and pull them away from my face.

"Serena you know I don't feel the same way. I am sorry though that I make you feel this way about me. Do you still want me to be in your life?" He asked sincerely. "Because if it is hurting you then I will leave and never speak to you again,"

"Please don't go away," I answered, I could feel a pain in my lip I had subconsciously began to bite it. "If you go away from me I think it might be worse. I don't care if you don't like me and you know that," I stated while pulling him into a hug.

"Serena I don't want to go out with you but I never wanted to hurt you," He whispered while forcefully hugging me back.

"You're not hurting me, this isn't hurting me. I didn't get jealous of seeing Raye kiss you even. I've become so cocky and I can't loose this flaw," I exclaimed in frustration.

We sat there in his truck embraced for sometime before he drove me home, we didn't speak at all. I feel he's to afraid to say anything; as if he had anymore of his foot left to insert into his mouth.

The Next Day…

I was late for class again. I slept in this morning because I couldn't sleep last night, I couldn't take the curiosity that filled my body. I was wondering what Darien had been feeling last night, if Raye had suspected anything at all and above all I was wondering where the hell Minako was so I could tell her all this! I could hear voices down the next hallway, they were male voices. There is only one group of guys who will constantly be late for class and wonder the hallways.

"Ami is having a party tonight hey?" announced what sounded like to be Ryo.

"I don't have any money to buy beer, I'm going to feel left out!" Exclaimed Motoki. Motoki and Darien live in an apartment together; like Raye Darien lost his parents when he was young he was put into an orphanage but no one has the slightest clue as to how it happened.

"Don't worry my friend I shall buy you all beer for tonight I am going to find a pretty girl and get some action," laughed Shinozaki.

If there's one person Ami has similar qualities too it would be Shinozaki, his father owns a shopping mall in Odaiba and is constantly alone and he is filthy rich. Shinozaki is reckless and his father just pays everyone off to keep them quiet. I look at Shinozaki as a tragedy his father doesn't understand the attention he craves and his mother is so wrapped up in Shinozaki's father to even care what her son needs.

"Who you planning on getting action from? One of Raye's friends?" Laughed Kenji another one of the group.

"Lita, Ami or Minako would be okay but Serena now she would be prime," laughed Shinozaki. Okay my attention is at Bay, did he just say I would be prime? What the hell is prime?

"What do you mean prime? And don't be talking about Lita, she's mine," Asked Motoki.

"Remember I said would be prime, prime it means she'd be a prime girl to fuck," He explained. I've never been talked about like this, that I know of and I'm curious to hear the reaction of the others.

"You couldn't get into her pants if you paid her," Laughed Ryo.

"Oh how do you know? I'm good looking, popular, rich and I'm considered to be prime myself thanks," He answered cockily. So he thinks, I don't consider him all that 'prime'.

"Don't touch Serena," I heard a deep masculine voice and I peered around the corner only to find Darien leaning against a row of lockers.

"Why not? She's single and hot and she can't stay innocent forever," laughed Shinozaki.

"For one thing you don't stand a chance, she doesn't need money her parents do nicely, she's already pretty popular and I'm pretty sure she's fine without your prime ass. Besides you mess with her and I'll mess you up," I heard Darien threaten.

He threatened for me, he threatened another guy for me. Holy shit_."Serena you know I don't feel the same way. I am sorry though that I make you feel this way about me. Do you still want me to be in your life?" _I hate it when your mind has random flashbacks, they always make you feel like crap.

"Darien buddy what's with you and Serena? You're not seriously going to ditch Raye for her? Didn't you work really hard to get Raye?" Asked Ryo. I heard Darien laugh.

"Do you guys have any idea how we started going out? It's hilarious really. So I'm leaning against the wall outside reading a book when Raye walks up to me and says 'look I'm popular and you're popular we're both single and completely bored with our lives so why don't we try something new and go out with each other?' I said ya of course because I was bored with school and I was kind of tired of girls following me around all the time trying to go out with me. Than she had the nerve to continue with 'Oh and let's just say you approached me and asked me out with flowers,' and I'm pretty positive her friends all think something much more romantic than what actually happened,"

I heard his laughter continue along with all of theirs. He never answered their question, but none of them continued with it they all just continue to laugh.

"That's hilarious okay so that's what really happened? I heard she had you whipped because you're so 'in love with her'. Scared me for a minute there," joked Shinozaki.

"No that's pretty much what happened. Besides what is love Shinozaki? Not what Raye and I have I don't even know what to call our relationship,"

That Night at Ami's house…

Once again there I sat alone in the corner; not like I was hoping for someone to come and talk to me. They were all drunk and doing stupid things or making out. Then there was Shinozaki who was approaching me with speed.

"Serena Tuskino you look beautiful tonight," he complimented, great he was pissed. I didn't think I looked all that beautiful. I was wearing a soft pink sweater and a knee high jean skirt. My long blonde hair hung around the lower of my back and my make-up was natural looking; I was far from beautiful.

"Oh I highly doubt it Shinozaki," I smiled, how can I not be polite after all he wasn't trying anything.

"No I really mean it; do you think I could kiss you right here?" He asked than took his index finger and pushed it into my cheek. I don't really care if he does or not, it's not like it's going to go anywhere. I might as well indulge his dreams a little longer.

"Go right ahead I don't mind," I laughed and he did, his mouth was open and wet so my cheek was now covered in his spit. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. He than followed to take a seat beside me on the couch. I turned my head to see Raye sitting on Darien's lap on a bright orange chair across the room. Darien's eyes however were not on Raye they were cutting straight through the crowd to me.

"Can I kiss you on the lips?" whispered Shinozaki into my ear, why not? I don't see the problem what one little kiss can cause.

"You have my permission," I replied and I saw his head turn around as if he was scanning the room. I saw him give the thumbs up to Darien and when he turned back to face me he had a huge grin spread across his jaw. He leaned into kiss me and he did, this kiss however was nothing like when Darien would kiss me this made me sick not excited. He continued the kiss and proceeded to begin to make out with me. I need to get out of this or I'm going to be sick this is horrible! I began by trying to push him off but every time I tried he would continue by moving his hand down to where my breasts were and I would smack his hand away if it would get to close.

"Mhphmm Stop…No…st-" I mumbled but my last word was cut off by him being thrusted off me. I looked up to see Darien holding onto his shirt. I looked past him to see girls crowded around Raye who was sitting on the floor as if Darien just stood up and walked over here.

"What did I tell you Shinozaki? Don't fuck with Serena!" He shouted while shoving him against a wall. By this time everyone had turned to watch what was going on.

"What her and I do is none of your business," replied Shinozaki.

"Ya anything you assholes do to Serena is my business, you can touch anyone else but not her you got it?" He threatened.

"Why? What's so special about her? Ryo was right when he said you're going to ditch Raye for her wasn't he?" Questioned Shinozaki. Temporarily Darien's face glazed over as if he had no response. He dropped Shinozaki to the floor and walked out the French doors leading to the back yard. I quickly followed behind him, I could feel Raye's eyes burning as they followed me running outside.

"Darien! Stop wait up!" I shouted, he had gone towards the lake which was down a narrow dark path. I saw him standing on the beach.

"What? What do you want me to say?" He said calmly at me. I stayed silent.

"Maybe some part of me is attracted to you okay? I just couldn't stand seeing Shinozaki kissing you it was driving me insane. You said you didn't get jealous when Raye and I would kiss and yet here I am going crazy watching you kiss another guy, I almost beat the shit out of him!" He explained while throwing a rock into the water.

"The worst part is I dropped Raye right on the ground when I stood up and didn't apologize. She told me to stay here and let you have your fun, I'm not even your best friend and I could see you were not having fun, what am I supposed to say to her now?"

"Why did you do it? If you don't like me than why get jealous and almost beat up Shinozaki? Why stand up for me? Why do you do all these things if you don't care at all about me?" I shouted across the sound of the waves crashing.

"Damnit!" He shouted out towards nothing, it was his frustration leaving him with that one swear. "I like you okay? Maybe there is something here. I just don't like how I like you,"

Is he drunk? Is he sober? Am I drunk? Did I just hear those words escape his precious lips? Has he confessed his feelings?

"I'm sorry what?" I called back at him, we were still standing a distance apart perhaps I didn't hear him right.

"I said maybe I do like you. I hate how I like you though I don't go out with girls because I like them Serena I go out with them if they benefit me somehow. With you there is no benefit there's just you and that scares me," He explained while standing closer to me.

"This can't be true. Everyone knows good looking guys don't like me, people like you don't like me! I like people like you but you never like me back it's just not what happens!" I yelled with tears forming in my eyes, wow I feel like a baby but I can't stop them from happening. He laughs.

"This is what makes me like you Serena the fact that you are weird, it makes you non boring!"

"Well what are we going to do?" I inquired while pulling sweater closer to my body.

"I don't know, what do you want me to do?" He asked while pulling me close to him, he could see that I was freezing.

****

Free Talk:

So there's the chapter, how exciting I finally have Serena and Darien action but that's not all for them there will be so much more to come in the next chapters… It's not that easy guys! 3 Alisabeth


	7. Famous

****

**Free Talk:** _Hello all! This is that long awaited chapter 7, I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter… I knew you would :D I'm glad that finally got out because now I can focus on the main ploys of the story._

_

* * *

_

Never will we Be That Wonderful: **Chapter 7**

"Raye is soo pissed!" Shouted Minako as she ran down the trail towards us. She gave us an awkward expression as she saw us embraced. "If you don't do something quick she'll put on a wicked show that'll ruin the friendship,"

"I think her and I need to talk," I exclaimed. I reluctantly let go of Darien and made my way up the hill to go speak with Raye. I than felt a hand slip into mine and I turned to see Darien walk past me pulling me along behind him.

"No I think we all need to talk, besides she's interested in someone else and I'm here to show her who fucks with who in this relationship," He said a little angrily. That statement was arrogant and I didn't quite care for it, however at the same time it shows that he knew about her thing for Motoki.

When we got inside Raye was sitting in a chair crying, or fake crying it couldn't have been real I doubt she would ever get this upset over a guy.

"Serena how could you do this to me? You… You are the one he's been cheating on me with?" She hiccupped.

"Raye cut the drama, were over," Darien said uncompassionatly.

"Have you no heart Darien? She's balling her eyes out over you and all you can do is break up with her and run to little Serena!" Chastised Lita to Darien.

This is when I saw Raye's true self show; if only for a second she stopped whining, crying and sniffing she had just realized for the very fist time ever she was being dumped and not only that but she was being dumped for me.

"Serena I will never forgive you ever! I hate you I can't believe you'd be such a fucking bitch to your best friend!" Shouted Raye through her fake tears. This I cannot take, yes I've done something horrible but she is doing the same thing! Everyone is giving me dirty looks and looking at me angrily even though she did it to! Oh no I can't contain this…

"Raye stop it! You're doing the exact same thing to him with Motoki and every single boyfriend you've ever had!" I shouted. Oh no what have I done? I've never told a secret in my life… Perhaps the outcome won't be bad? Oops Lita's angry face is no longer at me but at the wounded Raye.

"What? Is that true? Motoki? Raye?" She questioned looking back and forth from one to the other.

"It's not true of course Lita are you blind? That bitch is making up shit to get the tables to turn. It won't work Serena everyone knows you're full of shit! You make up so many lies I don't see how you have friends!" Spat Raye, this time she didn't loose character she's to frightened someone will catch her now.

"No Raye you cut the shit. Serena's not lying, but it's all her nothing to do with me. It started about a month or so when she started talking to me. I mean sure we have lots of things in common but nothing that would actually draw me to her as a person, no offence Raye but you're a bit of bitch. She than started showing up frequently and flirting with me trying to get me to skip work to go hang out with her; which I never did by the way. And several times she's tried to kiss me," Concluded Motoki, thank god someone was backing me up or I'd be seen as a hunter out to shoot the helpless rabbit Raye.

That's when I saw it Raye froze it was now her word against ours. Everyone here knows that no one would ever back me up unless their was some truth to what I was saying. In which of course there is. After all it came straight from the horse's mouth.

"I think what you took as flirting Motoki wa-" Raye began.

"Raye you lying deceitful so called best friend? I stand by you with all of our friends, when you cheat on your boyfriends we never tell but when one cheats on you with your close friend all of a sudden freak out on her? I'm not sorry Raye but you're a bitch," cried Lita, she was being hugged by Ami.

I turned to look at Minako who was blissfully sitting in the corner of the room staring at us all looking directly at Raye; this was the day she prayed for, the day that everyone could see Raye for who she is. However somewhere inside of me the guilt was rising. I could feel all the different colored eyes looking at me. They were telling me look what you've done you've ruined an era whose going to boss us around now? Exactly. Boss us around now are what those eyes are saying. They're hunting for an answer. I've disturbed the balance even if the balance was crude, its not gone.

"Raye it's over face it, you're drunk as it is and trying to lie your way out of this one won't work. The population has spoken you're alone." Spoke Minako while getting up from the chair.

"What are you talking about? You and Ami have no beef with me." Answered Raye a little confused mind you.

"Oh on the contrary I've had a problem with you since grade 8 as for Ami she can make up her own mind on how she wants to treat you; and if you want to know the truth? Ami can't stand throwing parties she told me so a while back. She hates how everything gets trashed and how she has to always flip the bill on the clean up crew that comes in so her parents won't know about it. You have no respect for anyone other than yourself and whoever you're dating. And my God the whole time we've been friends I've watched you be a big asshole to Serena and than I watch her be nothing but a great friend to you. She tries so hard so that you'll be nice and accept her and you never do and you always say that she's ugly. Look at her now Raye she's got the hottest guy in our school and you? What do you have left Raye?" Exclaimed Minako she than walked away to leave the party. She winked at me. I was now standing alone against the wall, away from prying eyes.

People had started to leave a little while ago and now they were almost all gone except for the nine of us. Ami stood up and walked over to the door.

"I want everyone out and Raye you're not welcome to..to.. S.s..spend the night right n..now," swallowed Ami, I watched her nervousness on her face. She was scared but we all knew Raye wouldn't try anything if we were all standing here waiting to pounce.

"Just so you know Serena, I may have been rude to you and made fun of you but you were my bestest friend of the group." Said Raye as she walked past me. Bullshit. She was playing guilt Serena and Serena wasn't taking the bate.

"Serena lets go I'll give you a ride home," said Darien as he took my hand and lead me out to his truck. I could see Raye off in the distance going up Ami's driveway on her cell phone.

I stepped into his truck and did up my seatbelt as usual but I was less nervous and more comfortable this time because I knew that even if we did get caught together everyone knew it was okay. Well as much as 'okay' can be.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked over to see Darien looking at me through his intense eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he questioned eyeing my innocent face.

"Ha, little late now don't you think?" I equally questioned while turning my face away. Was I mad that I had just ruined an era? That I had just dethroned a queen? Not really.

"It's never too late, but I might be a little disappointed in you," he replied while starting up his truck.

"Disappointed why?" I asked.

"If you walked back inside and tried to reconcile your friendship with Raye you wouldn't be the fiery girl that I thought you were," He answered while backing down the drive way.

"I'm not fiery? Have you been fantasizing and are now confused with reality?" I joked and leaned the seat forward. Raye must have been sitting here before the seat is further back.

"Of course you are, you may not see it, but that's because you don't see things the same way I do. I watch you hold it in when Raye would make fun of you at lunches. I continuously watched your facial features when Raye looked away. You were hurt, it's true, but you were also very angry and I was waiting and anticipating the day that you would crack under pressure. Tonight you proved me right." He explained.

"I still don't get why you like me. I'm a virgin for one thing and everyone knows your reputation isn't all talk. Secondly I haven't got a clue how to kiss at all. And thirdly I'm pretty damn shy and timid so how are you supposed to keep a conversation going with me?" I told in my moment of frustration.

"You're shy and timid? Gee could have fooled me considering that you've been talking this whole way here," He laughed.

I looked around we were now parked in my drive way and the lights in my house were all turned off; mom must think I'm sleeping over at Ami's house.

"And so what if you're a virgin we can change that. You're a fucking good kisser despite what you think and you're definitely not shy," He smiled cockily.

What does he mean we can change that? Sure I'm curious but I am not about to loose my virginity to the first guy who tries. Than again how will I last? With Darien I just know I'm going to crack he's amazing at everything he does and I just know he's one of those guys who knows how to touch.

My theory on the guys who have sex is if they know where a lady's sensitive spots are than she's more likely to be turned on and more likely to sleep with him. Unfortunately for me this theory isn't generally just a theory; it's almost written law.

Darien leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and than on my neck and he continued until his mouth came in contact with mine. I could feel my face flushing just knowing the urge he was getting. He than pulled away and gave me a serious face.

"I'm not kidding around with you okay? I'm not going to pressure you to have sex with me, but we both know that I'm an asshole so I'm not going to lie I will try to get with you it's what I do. I'm the stereotypical guy and I can't do anything about it," he explained.

"Okay I'm going to go to bed. Good bye." I answered and swiftly jumped out of the truck and walked inside. I could hear the truck start up. The sound of the ignition starting is now familiar to me; I welcome the sound.

Monday…

Not like I didn't think everyone would be staring at me. After all I did just break up the dream team and made Raye look like a bitch. Perhaps I'm heartless but for some reason I feel good about myself. I'm even wearing a low cut shirt and I never wear anything low cut.

"Serena you can switch lockers with me if you like I know you've always hated being underneath me," offered Jun.

This was unlike her she's usually the biggest bitch I've ever met. Our school cheaped out on lockers when it was built so they're all half ones so everyone has a locker mate above them. I was stuck on the bottom row thanks to my dreaded last name.

"Why are you being nice to me? Where's the 'out of my way fag' I usually get? Or the sarcastic 'sorry Sere' when you hit my head with your locker door? I've got nothing on you so it's not like I can ruin your life too!" I explained back, feels nice to gain a back bone.

"No actually I'm moving into a locker with my boyfriend on the second floor. And Sere you know I'm never that mean to you!" laughed Jun.

"Are you joking me? Oh and by the way I've always hated you calling me Sere," I replied.

"Sorry Serena, anyways take my locker it's all yours I'm off bye! Oh you can even have my lock the combination is 21-6-21. Easy enough. See ya," She smiled and walked down the hallway. Ya like I'd keep anything with her lock protecting it. She was a complete klepto in the eighth grade and it's not like she's changed her taking ways.

It was then that I saw Raye; and just as I thought she had to much pride to show that she'd lost at school. She looked gorgeous as usual and her whole body screamed take me now, I'm single! I turned away but it's not like I didn't need to I felt the amethyst eyes on my back she was staring unable to accept that no longer would I be her confidant.

"Hey I made this in welding and thought perhaps you might appreciate it," said a hot looking guy named Nobu. I remember him because he would always make Raye charms for her charm bracelet and she would accept them than throw them in the trash right after. Especially when he would take so much time putting detail on them.

"Oh I'm sorry I'm not friends with Raye anymore you should just give it to her yourself," I answered smiling sincerely.

"No it's not for Raye it's for you," He smiled while handing me the hand crafted trinket. It was beautiful with a jeweled clasp he added to it. It was simple and I always like simple things.

"It's beautiful, thank you very much," I smiled while placing it on my arm. I must admit I'm impressed with it's craftsmanship.

"Serena come here," shouted Darien from the other end of the hallway. I smiled and walked down towards him.

"Look Nobu made me a bracelet I don't know why though," I laughed. "Usually all his stuff is for Raye, oh and the strangest thing happened Jun above my locker? Well normally she's a huge bitch to me but today she gave me her locker and suddenly decided to move into lockers with her boyfriend! It was so weird," I smiled, Darien however was not smiling. "What?"

"Serena people are being nice to you because they think you're the new Raye," He explained in a serious tone.

"What? I'm not the new Raye I'm not popular enough to be the new Raye. Oh and I'm not bitchy enough," I giggled to myself. The joke wasn't mutual.

"I'm serious, because you're going out with me you're now on top. I heighten your popularity you don't do a thing for me though," He said, almost remorsefully.

"No you've got to be…" I began but didn't finish I started to add things together and I looked around at everyone around me there were people staring at me and the locker than Nobu? It's not coinincidential and I was a fool to think that it was. I don't want to be the new Raye.

"I'm not pretty enough to be the new Raye!" I argued while folding my arms across my Barron chest, I was missing a few cup sizes for one thing.

"Serena they wouldn't be staring if you weren't beautiful," He said while his face turned a little pink. He meant it though I could tell. "So enjoy it because you're famous,"

* * *

Free Talk:

Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter I was striving on how to put it all together I wasn't sure how I wanted to introduce Serena's new popularity but I'm pretty sure I've done an adequate job. Anyways next chapter in the works see ya!


	8. Every Girl Gets Her Day

Free Talk:_ Hello all I hope you liked my last chapter, yes its true Darien is a big asshole but that's the character I've given him for now anyway. Same with Serena sure she's annoying now, but you at least identify that she has personality even if it is irritating. Don't worry there's method to my madness._

Never Will we Be that Wonderful:  **Chapter 8

* * *

**

I turned to look out the back window, a girl was walking along the road. I saw Darien do the same thing in his rearview mirror. Familiarity is what it is. Whenever I'm driving down the road I turn to see if it's someone I know walking down the street; rarely it is. That's what we're looking for in our lifetime familiarity; something to remind us of ourselves, something to confirm you're home. I'm searching for familiarity now at school I've become a legend in only one day and yet my accomplishments are nil. Raye was popular because she knew how to control people; I'm popular because my boyfriend is what a sad state I'm in.

"Do you believe people think it was cool that I stood up to Raye?" I asked turning my head to Darien.

"Cool? No one thinks things are cool anymore, they probably thought it was different and brave though," He laughed and flashed a white grin at me. Today we were going to his house for the first time, but I'm not nervous.

"They probably think I've become the newest bitch in town because I'm dating you. You've brought new meaning to the term "Bitch magnet" the only difference is I'm not a bitch and I have no intention of becoming like Raye. Besides I don't have any side kicks like Ami and Lita," I finished we were turning into the most prestigious neighborhood in this district.

"Do you live here?" I questioned admiring the large gates and men that guarded them.

"Something like that," answered Darien whilst pulling up to a gate near the end of the road. 'Something like that,' what kind of answer is that? Does this mean he is rich? Well he does drive a brand new Z71, which are rare over here in Japan considering it's made by GMC an American company.

"Okay I'll be honest with you I'm sort of wealthy. Not like ridiculously wealthy but my family does okay you know? My father must meet every girl I date incase it does something to embarrass him. I'm not his most favorite child." He added and looked away.

"Did he like Raye?" I questioned, interested in his ex a little bit I must admit. After all he is dirty laundry.

"Not one bit, he thought she was trouble and because he knew we were having sex he said she looked like the type to claim being pregnant and say I'm the father of her baby. Which was a big insult to Raye so we never came back since. Until he discovered that her and I had broken up and that I was with someone new. The little creep spys on me," He finished looking at the large glass double front doors.

"So if he doesn't like me it doesn't matter?" I asked looking at him.

"Like I care what he thinks. He's an asshole who tries to control everyone's lives," spat Darien while opening his door and walking towards the house. I slowly got out and ran up to him. While we were walking I felt his hand encircle mine with a tight grip. It was as if there was something going on here that I was unaware of, like a big secret was kept here.

We stepped inside onto the teal marble flooring. I glanced around and saw nothing but beautiful artwork and a grand staircase. The house looked normal on the outside but had beautiful architecture on the inside. I was impressed, Darien was not.

"Ah Mr. Chiba you're late Mike has been waiting impatiently for you to arrive," Said a man dressed in a navy suit. I assume him to be an assistant with the way he greeted us.

We climbed the great staircase which lead to a short hallway with several doors. The last door on the end was marked Michael on a gold plate. Darien just whisked the door open and took a seat in the first arm chair. What am I supposed to do follow his lead? I quietly sat down in the chair beside him and folded my hands into my lap.

"You two are very late," Said a voice calmly behind us. Darien didn't move an inch. The voice sounded as if it had an accent. A British accent.

"I've told you time and time again that school doesn't get out until 5:30 we have clubs and cleaning to attend to," exclaimed Darien in an almost fed up tone.

"Well Miss stand up I do not have all day," said the voice. I slowly stood up only to come face to face with someone who was definitely not Japanese. His hair was golden blonde, he had light green eyes and his smile did not reflect Darien at all. His black suit was tailored to fit perfectly and he held a file under his right arm. His face was stern not soft and it too looked as if it held many secrets within it.

"My name is Tuskino Serena it's a pleasure to meet you sir," I said and bowed formally towards him and he replied with the same courtesy.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss. Tuskino my name is Michael Witherson and I must say you're the most polite girl Darien has brought home to date," He explained than bowed once more to me. My face was turning pink I could feel it, this man may be thirty years my senior but he was dashing and young. His last name though is Witherson and Darien's is Chiba, the two look nothing alike and yet he is Darien's father. Perhaps Darien is adopted?

"She's approved, for once. You're welcome to leave at your discretion. I'm far to busy to tinker around with you and your love life any longer," explained Michael. I wonder if he would mind me calling him Michael? I suppose I should just stick to Mr. Witherson as to not cause confusion. "Oh and hope to see you again one day Miss. Tuskino,"

"Please sure call me Serena I don't mind at all, good bye Mr. Witherson," I added and ran to catch up to the lofty Darien.

We than sped off into the evening towards Darien's actual house. He leaves things out when talking to me or making plans. He keeps me on my toes and rewards me with curiosity. I'm genuinely interested about his father but I suppose asking about it would make me seem annoying and that's the last thing I want in this relationship. It's not like it's a big deal anyways. Perhaps he takes after his mom mostly. Wait I never got to meet his mother.

"Your mother wasn't present do I not get to meet her too?" I asked, he was silent. I was scared.

"You won't get to meet my mother, she died when I was five." He explained while turning into a drive way under a condo.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have assumed such a thing," I replied looking away from him.

I'm so stupid I always say the wrong things at the wrong times. Also constantly am I saying sorry when they don't need to hear that. People who have someone sick or someone dead in their family appreciate our condolences and concern but I feel it's almost rude to say things like "I'm sorry" or "My heart goes out to you,". They don't want to hear that it's like giving them their last rights. I usually say something like "I'm here for you to talk if you need me," but for once I couldn't say it. I can't say something like that to Darien in fear that he would distance himself further from me than he already is.

"I can see you contemplating questions in your head to ask me, I'll answer the ones I know you're dieing to ask. I'm very personal about myself remember that. I'll rarely open up to you and you'll just have to deal with that unfortunately. My mother died through a drug overdose, the doctors believe it was suicide seeing as she had no history with taking drugs. Michael is not my biological father. That's all you need to know." He explained. My head was still itching to go further with him; I yearned to know more about his twisted fate and how he ended up with a wealthy man for a dad if they're not really related. I suppose these questions shall remain unanswered because he just stated he'll never open up to me.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be nosey like this. It's not like you're asking me questions about my life either so I'll lay off. Sorry." I apologized.

"Do you want me to ask you questions?" He asked sincerely. I giggled at this.

"Do you want to ask me questions I think would be the correct response from me," I answered and asked all at the same time.

"Okay tell me about your family," He told.

"There's nothing really to tell to be honest. My mother is a stay at home mom who is ambitious as hell about inventing a miracle pine cleaner that actually gets those black marks off all the walls. My brother Shingo is as little brothers always are, annoying. As for my father, he owns a share in a small company called "Genki Desu (I'm happy)" it's the company that makes dishwasher soap. That's about it," I explained looking back at him. I was expecting him to be falling asleep but there he was upright and interested in what I had to say.

"You forgot something," He stated.

"No I didn't that's all the family I have," I answered.

"You forgot yourself, I only know what you spill out in awkward moments I want to know a little more about you. Such as why you're so shy around people and how come you have no desire to have sex with me?" He laughed. I can't tell if his laugh was at me or with me.

"Oh, well umm.. I'm shy because that's just how I am. The less you talk the less there is to gossip about. As for the sex question… I can't answer that," I replied. Truthfully I couldn't I mean really how am I supposed to explain to him that I've never had sex but am really curious about it. I could never explain my hidden desires to him. I'm too embarrassed to let my mother see my ass what chance does he have?

"You can't answer that? And why is that Miss. Tuskino?" He whispered into my ear lobe as he bit the bottom of it. My body tensed but not in a bad way. It's funny if he tried anything I wouldn't hesitate to say no. I'm not afraid of him and I do not find him intimidating… Well that was a little intimidating.

"Because it's private," I continue by teasing my lips over his but not letting him kiss me. A grin approached his mouth.

"Private? So you have secrets hey?" He asked while kissing my neck right below my ear.

"More secrets than you could imagine, so many things you don't know about me," I smiled into his cheek while kissing it. I felt his hand rest on my lower back and he pulled me towards him.

"How do I learn these secrets?" He questioned, now returning the favor and teasing my lips.

"You can't they're not yours for the learning," I giggled as he kissed my chin, I felt his hand move lower down my back to my bottom where he kept his palm.

My whole body shivered; this feeling is new and different. The moment he touched me there a sensation came. He's so arrogant. He knows he won't have sex with me. Yet here I am now questioning why it would be so bad? What consequences could I get for it? Pregnancy? No I'm on the pill and that plus a condom is like 97 percent fool proof… Or something like that. I can hear his breath its slow and steady; similar to a lion ready to pounce. I didn't know I had this capability to turn men on.

"Let's go inside I'll show you my house," He said while sliding away from me and out the door.

There he was capable of turning off the sensations in his body so easily. Than there was I, curious little me. I'm still a new driver on this road; how am I supposed to match him? Than again I could look at this from the point of view that I could control him, use his desires to gain the upper hand. He can't keep that cool façade going for long.

"Holy you're house is nice," I commented while entering through the doors. He lived in a two story condo, but what was I expecting his father probably owned the building.

"Yeah I'm completely spoiled. I would have thought you'd realize that from the brand new Z71." He laughed I could see him through the window to the kitchen. He was getting himself and I a drink.

"Shit I forgot you don't drink, uhh I can make you a Shirley temple," he joked as he poured the drink down the sink.

"Sorry I just don't like to drink," I turned away from him to look out the window.

"Why don't you anyway? If you don't mind my asking," He questioned while taking a seat beside me.

"I don't know. I guess I'm afraid I'm going to do something I will regret.

"Everyone has something they regret from being drunk though. That's the fun part, finding out who you hooked up with the night before and the stupid things you said to people," He laughed while taking a sip of whatever he was drinking.

"Fun for everyone else. I on the other hand would find that humiliating," I continued.

"You're really uptight you know that?" He laughed as he put the drink down on the table.

Of course I know I'm uptight. I'm anal about everything, but recently I've been getting away from that for some reason. It's as if I'm growing a back bone finally. Minako will be happy with me, she's been telling me I need to gain one for years now. I'm also really curious and yet hold back my questions in fear of being told I'm nosey. It's true I am nosey, but so what the whole god damn world is nosey. Look at the lives of celebrities they're always in the spotlight and we all buy tabloids seeing whose sleeping with who, whose marring who or divorcing for that matter. I stand by that celebrity marriages are publicity stunts and that's it. Perhaps for once in my life I can ask questions to Darien. I feel comfortable and secure around him.

"So tell me something about you that I don't know," I said to him in the most seductive tone I could.

"ha ha something you don't know? There's lots you don't know. Let me see umm I actually have a passion for racing motor bikes. Nice seductive tone by the way," He laughed while taking a sip of his drink. Wow, there was so much sarcasm there I could smell it. "Now tell me something I don't know about you,"

"I ditched my best friend because Raye didn't like her," I confessed, boy had that one been resting on my shoulders for years I've got to say, nice to confess things to strangers.

"Why?" Asked Darien, his face looked bewildered.

"Because I chose popularity over friendship, plus at the time Raye seemed way more interested in me than she did," I admitted, it's the truth. At least it's the truth I wanted to believe.

"Do you ever talk to her?" He questioned, maybe he's not so thick. This is the side of Darien I like the most. The side that listens and gives feed back.

"Never. There's the occasional 'hello' in the hallway but that's as far as it goes. Oh and it's usually an awkward 'hello' too; like we feel the need to say it," I explained. I miss Naru.

"Let me ask you another question. Out of your clique who are you actually friends with? What I mean is who do you consider your best friend of the group?" he inquired.

"I used to think Raye, but within the last year she became this bitch to me. It used to be Amy she was always mean to but it turned to me. Just like in elementary school you know? Every girl gets their day where everyone would be mean to you; you just always hoped that today wasn't your day. Now I guess I would say Minako though, she always defended me and told me the truth about everything," I replied while taking a sip of his drink, I didn't get the reaction I wanted out of him though. It was feeling warm inside.

"I figured Minako by the way you reacted when she walked in on us," He explained while glancing over at me. His facial features were that of a child in that one instance and his eyes pierced mine. "Okay last question, why were you attracted to me? Like honestly why?"

Okay I have to admit it now, this question threw me off. He always preceded me as someone who was full of themselves and thought that everyone was attracted to him. However, this throws me for a loop. It wasn't his good looks though it was the way he talked to me. Like I was worth his time.

"You made me feel like you gave a damn; even when we fought," I smiled up at him.

"I did and do give a damn about you," He replied than looked away right after. "Sorry I'm just not someone who says things like that. Well don't get me wrong I do say them occasionally but yeah that's just it on occasion only,"

"Were you ever attracted to me before you decided that I was innocent?" I asked peering into his eyes with mine. I was always told my eyes were a unique shade of blue, kind of like his deep blue ones. Mine were like a clear blue sky on a sunny day and his were a stormy thunder storm needing to be calmed.

"If you're wanting me to be honest you won't like me so I'll just say that it was your laugh that caught me," He smiled cockily.

"Oh? Tell me the truth I already know my laugh sounds like a hyena no need to mock it!" I smiled at him. He then bent towards me and kissed my neck. My whole body has gone numb and the lower he goes the more my eyes fall to heaven. I wonder what it would be like to loose my virginity. I always pictured candles, music and sexy lingerie. Well right now his house is dead silent, well lit and I'm wearing lime green boys shorts with a red padded bra. Okay definitely not today, not until I'm more prepared. His kisses continued and his hands were sliding down my stomach to where the top of my pants are. He fingered the material than ran his soft finger tips along my stomach. My eyes bulged open and for that instant I lost my breath. We made eye contact and he smirked up at me.

"I can do better than that if you'll let me,"

Right make him think he has the upper hand then go in for the finishing blow. Well not blow but finishing move where he realizes he won't get very far with me.

"Oh really? Well maybe I can do better," I answered replaying the smirk on my lips for him.

"What a surprise, never expect you to say that," He laughed.

I took my finger tips and guided them slowly up his arm. I could see that he could feel the tickling sensation that I was creating for him. I than slowly crawled down to where I met his belly button and I planted kisses along it, he was anticipating something that I was not going to give. I swiftly pulled away and looked him, he finally clued in.

"Tease," He said while standing up and grabbing his keys. "Come on you've got to be home by ten right?"

"Let's go," I replied while grabbing my jacket. Time flew by fast, we had been here for over four hours. For those short minutes there I had gained control; points for Serena four, points for Darien none.

Free Talk:_ Hello! So there's the end of my latest chapter I hope you all enjoyed it. Secrets are only to be revealed with time! I'm open to guesses as to what's up with Darien and his dad so go right ahead. Again I apologize for the terrible grammar, my English teacher tells me I'm improving though ._


	9. An Aborted Privacy

****

Free Talk:

Wow thank you for your comments and guesses! To ladykagome123 you're on the right track but not necessarily right, but lets put it this way you'll be shocked and pleased when I reveal what happened.

To **princesaangelbebe**Darien technically is an orphan, Michael isn't his real father and because Darien doesn't like him he doesn't live with him and tries not to associate with him. It'll be explained more in later chapters….Actually it'll be explained in this chapter too.

* * *

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: **Chapter 9**

When you look upon life you question why is it happening? What is our purpose? Ha, some scientists say we're simply animals here to mate with each other in order to keep our population huge. Others say we're here simply to live. Religious people believe God put us here for a reason. When I was young I used to believe I was here because my kitty needed me. When you're young you're innocent and no one can really take that away from you.

Even if you try to avoid loosing your innocence with time you will and you'll realize that you're not here because your kitty needed you, but that the purpose of life is to grow and live while trying to discover your own answers. My innocence was gone at age fourteen when I went to a party and saw all of my friends drinking and falling over because they had consumed so much. Now here I am, in a truck, making out with the most beautiful guy I have ever looked at; not to mention a boy whom I technically stole. This definitely qualifies as no longer as innocent.

"I have to go home. It's like ten thirty already," I commented while pulling away to the other seat.

"Sorry, it's just I like how I don't have to sneak around with you anymore. How I could kiss you in school if I wanted to and no one would say a thing," He replied. I felt my cheeks flush and a smile creep up my face. I leaned over and kissed him one last time before sliding out of his truck.

I quietly snuck into my room and got ready for bed. I lay there looking out my window at the stars. I heard a soft knock on the door and then I could see it open a jar. I could see two eyes peering at me.

"Serena? Can we talk?" Asked my mother. She's always wanting to have these serious discussions right before I want to go to bed.

"No, I want to go to sleep can't we talk in the morning?" I requested, awaiting her 'no'.

"…That's fine I guess we'll talk then," She said sadly then the door closed slowly and I could hear her swishing along the floor to her bedroom. I'm curious as to what she wanted with me. Was it another infamous sex talk? Was it another 'you're fighting with fire' talk? She gave in so easily which makes me think it was perhaps serious. I'm to distraught in other areas of my thoughts though to wonder too much about what my mom wanted.

What bothers me more is what Darien said. '_why you have no desire to have sex with me?_' I couldn't answer him.In truth I don't know myself. Come to think about it I've always been curious, but so scared to have my first time ruined for me. I want to be regret free when I loose my virginity. I always preach celibacy for myself and yet here I am once again contemplating sex.

It's funny how I picture it with romantic music, dim candles and me sporting sexy lingerie. That's almost never how it happens. I question myself though if that's really what I want or if it's what pop culture has made me want. I asked Raye once what her first time was like and she said, '_It's never how you picture it. I wanted it planned out with the works; you know music and candles? Yeah happened in the backseat of his car with the radio off._' That does not sound like fun to me. Darien's backseat has stuff in it so there's no way that's where I'm loosing mine. I think every girl though has an vision of what they picture their first times to be like. I suppose it's the same as wedding or prom. However those things are rarely ever what you wanted them to be like.

The Next Day…

When I woke up in the morning my mom was no where to be found. I suppose she had already left taking Shingo to school. Shingo was always prompt with everything he did and I was the complete opposite.

"Serena, we missed you last night at the party," commented Lita while leaning against my locker.

"Oh, I had other plans," I explained.

"Raye was there. She was bad mouthing you to anyone who would listen. Her most famous line was 'She's supposed to have replaced me and yet she's not here at this fabulous party,'" said Ami sarcastically while sipping on her soda.

"Why do I need to go to parties? I'm not trying to replace Raye so it's not like I'm going too change for 'the position'," I replied.

Why does everyone have this strange idea that I'm the next Raye? I mean it's not like I could pull that off. I don't think having someone rule over the school is right anyway. Besides it's not like dating Darien should make much of a difference; it was more or less a shocker for those around us.

"Whatever, but just know this Raye's got it out for you because she's jealous of you and Darien. She's been trying everything in her power to get back with him. She's changed her story once again from 'I'm the victim' to 'I let him go because I love him'," Told Lita while rolling her eyes in distaste.

"And are people buying it?" I asked.

"Of course not everyone who counts was there at the party and saw what happened," She answered.

There's one thing on my mind that confuses me the most. Lita and Ami were always friends of mine, but lately they seem to be wanting to do everything with me and always trying to make sure that I go to all the right parties and talk to all the 'right' people. Minako also has changed it seems. I rarely see her in the hallways and during classes she seems to always be with this boy named Kunzite whom she claims is one of her best friends.

"Serena why weren't you at the party last night? We all missed you terribly," Laughed Raye as she walked by. She had a girl with her whom I had never seen. She looked foreign with her natural dirty blonde hair and amber eyes. I can't stand it when Raye tries to rub things in my face. Luckily I saw this one coming from a mile away.

"Sorry Raye I had plans with Darien. He took me to meet his father who turns out adores me!" I replied with a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat. I saw her face grow sour; if only for a second. I recalled Darien telling me his father disliked Raye. She nodded then the dirty blonde and her raced down the hallway in the opposite direction.

"What was that all about?" Inquired Ami watching in the direction of Raye.

"Darien's father didn't like Raye. I knew it would be a sore spot for her if I mentioned how he liked me," I smiled in victory.

"Darien has a father? I thought he was an orphan like Motoki. Isn't that why they live together?" Asked Lita looking awfully confused.

"Technically he is, I guess I shouldn't really be talking about it because it's really none of my business. I didn't even think Motoki lived with Darien anymore seeing as he wasn't there yesterday when we went," I replied. Come to think of it where was Motoki yesterday?

"And another thing who is that girl with Raye?" I asked remembering my confusion from earlier.

"Her name is Debelle Natsumi, she's from England," Explained Ami. "I met her first actually in my computer graphics course. She has exquisite Japanese, but also speaks a few other languages including French and German,"

"Yet her name is Japanese I notice," Observed Lita.

"Yes, apparently she's a quarter Japanese. As well she has a twin brother named Debelle Allan. I've never seen him though. She describes him as very rude," Explained Amy while finishing up her soda.

"I feel badly for her. Raye's using her because she has no friends," I smiled sadly. I turned to see them staring at me. "What?"

"That was out of character," Said a shocked Lita.

"What was out of character?" I asked.

"Usually you would say something like oh well I'm glad Raye made a friend. However, you just said Raye has no friends. You seem to be a little more out spoken recently," Replied Lita.

"I've always been like this. It's only recently you two started to actually talk to me though. Usually I just kept inside my head and not shared my opinions. Some how though without Raye I feel I can let it all out," I winked while grabbing my binder. "I have to go to the bathroom before class so I'll see you girls later,"

The late bell rang as soon as I reached the bathroom. By the time I was done the hallways were deserted and no one was at their lockers anymore. It was then that I heard whispering amongst the empty hallway. I leaned against the edge of the wall that lead to the next hallway and slowly peered my head around. There was Raye standing there with Darien and they seemed to be whispering sharply to one and other.

"Darien please I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you just please, come back to me," cried Raye quietly.

"Pain? I caused you more pain then you caused me. Do you ever question why anyone isn't taking your side of the story? Because your story keeps changing. First you're upset and hateful that we broke up. Now rumors have it that you're trying to be friends with Serena and want to get me back all at the same time," Replied Darien skeptically.

"I don't want to be friends with Serena anymore. She hurt me and although I forgive her I shall not be friends with her again," whined Raye while pulling on Darien's sleeve.

"You don't forgive her. I know you a little better then that Raye and I've come to the conclusion that you're a fake. Serena, now she is real," He explained while removing her hand from his sleeve.

"Real? Are you on drugs? She's more fake then I am. She now pulls off this bitchy image and tries to be me when she knows it's not her true self. Only because of you is she popular. She's just using you to become popular. Besides you won't get laid with her, she's Roman Catholic," She whispered while pulling him closer to her using his shirt.

Where does she come off with that one? Like I could actually use someone to become popular. I was only popular in the first place because I happened to make the right friends in kindergarten. As for Roman Catholic, since when I have I even announced an official religion let alone being Roman Catholic. I must intervene this before she starts filling his heads with ideas about me.

"Okay I've heard enough," I stated while revealing myself from behind the corner. Darien and Raye both jumped, being startled by my appearance.

"You little eavesdropper," spat Raye staring at me with great distaste.

"I wasn't doing it on purpose I merely stumbled into your conversation on my way back from the bathroom," I answered eyeing her hands on Darien's shirt. Sensing my uneasiness Darien hastily removed her hands from his shirt and took a step away from her.

"Darien this is what I'm talking about, she's also extremely over protective and won't even trust you with me," explained Raye pleadingly.

"If I was her, I wouldn't trust you either," He said with no emotion in his voice.

"First of all Raye, where the hell do you get off saying I'm Roman Catholic? That's certainly not true. Secondly do you really think I'm capable of using someone to become popular? No you don't. You've degraded me in front of people for so long that I wouldn't even have the chance to do so. I hate how you can't stand the fact that for once you lost. I hate how you just can't leave me alone and let life move on. Most of all though, I hate how you just can't back off of Darien when you didn't even really like him all that much in the first place," I shouted, I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. By this time a few classroom doors had opened and people were now watching the argument between the two of us. Darien's hand encircled mine as he began pulling me away.

"Are you in love with him Serena? Does he make you hot just thinking about him? Does he? Well news flash he'll only be with you until he sleeps with you. That's right, the moment you two fuck your relationship is through! I know more about him then you ever will!" She screamed. I could see her make up smeared down her face because she had been crying.

Darien dragged my down the hallway away from her. He was preventing me from doing something that I had wanted to do for a while. However he was right in doing so. I would have lost the fight anyway.

"Is it true?" I asked wiping the tears that were pouring down from my eyes. I couldn't help but ask if it was true. Even if I tried to convince myself that Raye was an excellent actress I would still question his motives.

"Are you stupid? Of course it's not true. I slept with her within the first few weeks and we stayed together for six months. She told everyone it was after a few months, but it was really only a few weeks," He answered handing me a tissue from a package in his bag.

"I know I shouldn't have to ask you that. It's the only thing I've been thinking about though for the past few days," I confessed looking at him directly in the eye. "It's almost as if I'm waiting for the moment where you can't take it anymore and go and have an affair with some floozy,"

For a few minutes he stared directly at me. He studied my body as I sat in a leather chair in the alcove. Almost as if he was carefully choosing his words. Similar to a chess game he was thinking two steps ahead. He then looked away from me.

"I won't cheat on you Serena. I promise you," He said earnestly.

"I trust you," I smiled weakly taking his hands into mine and he bent down to my level. "From this moment forward anything Raye says I shall regard as lies,"

"I will too," He agreed and flashed his perfect smile at me.

That Evening…

I lay on my bed looking outside my window at the street below; watching the people all walk by. There was a time when I would obsess with needing to be told I was 'hot'. Now the word 'hot' doesn't even have the same meaning. Now I obsess with being called 'beautiful'. I unfortunately was cursed with only being called 'pretty'. However, I suppose I should not complain for there are some girls out there who are called hideous or ugly and are probably never even going to be told they're 'pretty'.

"Serena are you home?" I heard my mom call from downstairs in the kitchen.

"Yes!" I shouted back and got up to go and meet her. I had almost forgotten that she wanted to speak with me about something.

"What is it? Sorry I didn't talk to you last night and I didn't wake up early enough this morning," I confessed while slumping into the kitchen table chair.

"It's fine I can talk to you about it now," She smiled weakly. It looked as if she had been thinking about this one for weeks. "I hear you're no longer friends with Raye,"

"No and I think it's a good thing almost," I replied. I really hope that's not what she wants to talk to me about.

"Hmm, I ran into her grandfather at the grocery store today and he told me he was sad to see one of Raye's more polite friends leave," She commented. "I also hear that you're now seeing Chiba Mamoru," She commented.

It's strange hearing an adult use his Japanese name rather than his English one. So many of us go by our English names and not our Japanese ones.

"Yes that's correct," I smiled. I guess you could say I'm still giddy and when someone mentions his name I can't prevent that smirk from creeping up on my lips.

"Please don't hate me for asking this, but are you and him having intercourse?" She asked. I gasped, as most teenagers do at their mothers asking such questions.

"No!" I replied stunned that she would even think such a thing of me. She then reached into her purse and pulled out a small package.

"Now even though I know you say you're not having sex I want to give you these. It's contraception," She explained while sliding them across the table at me.

"Why are you giving these to me if you know I'm not having sex?" I inquired.

"Well I think you're old enough that I can tell you," She said looking towards the floor. Perhaps this is what she wanted to talk to me about.

"When I was about a year older than you I lost my virginity to your father," She explained looking intensively at me. "We rarely got a hold of any for of contraception which was definitely risky. After a few months I began having symptoms of pregnancy and as luck had it I turned out to be pregnant with a baby boy. I was to young to have that child Serena, far to young. I was only sixteen years old. I made probably the biggest decision of my life and I chose to abort the child," My mothers eyes were filling up with tears. "And my whole life I've regretted not keeping that child,"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mother had an abortion? So many questions were racing through my mind at this very moment.

"Did dad know about it?" I asked pulling her into a daughterly hug.

"Of course your father knew about it. At first he was completely against it, but soon gave in realizing it was our only option," She answered while wiping the tears away from her eyes. "I'm telling you this so that if you do decide to have sex, use protection and be responsible. I don't want you to have to make that decision like I had to,"

I nodded in response and took the pills off the counter. I decided it would be best to give my mom a moment alone. She probably just remembered hundreds of horrible memories associated with that time. She was staring straight ahead out the window blankly with her hand covering her mouth. I could see her eyes were still soaked with tears.

I find it frightening how so many teenagers have sex without thinking about the consequences. Even I did not think about them until she told me her emotional past. If Darien and I had sex and I became pregnant would he stay? Sometimes I think he would, but other times I'm unsure. He can be warm and cold towards me all at the same time. He's an orphan so perhaps he would like to have a child of his own. I'm only fifteen though and he's eighteen; I don't think either of us would like to a child at our age. Perhaps that's the reason I'm abstaining, fear.

The Next Day…

"Sod off you daft cow!" I heard someone shout in English down the hallway. I turned to find a boy with dirty blonde hair and sparkling amber eyes looking angrily at the new exchange student Natsumi. This must be her brother, Allan. He then turned towards me, smiled and winked. I felt my face turn red. He just openly flirted with me, and for once I realized it.

I slowly made my way to my locker which was conveniently placed across the hall from his.

"What's your name?" I heard him ask in Japanese. Yet he had a bit of an accent.

"Tuskino Serena," I replied turning to face him.

"I'm Allan Debelle. Sorry I meant Debelle Allan," He bowed. I always find it interesting when people from other countries try to act Japanese. I indulged him politely and bowed the same.

"You must be Natsumi's brother," I exclaimed.

"I am. She drives me crazy though so I rarely admit that we're related. Are you the girl who dates that guy with the nice truck in grade twelve?" He inquired watching my pull my books out of my locker.

"Yes, that's me," I answered.

"That's nice. My sister fancy's him. I'm also interested in you," He said in English. Although I don't quite understand what he means by 'fancy's' I think he's trying to say his sister likes him. Great, more competition. And I have no idea what he was saying about me.

"I suppose I shouldn't be speaking English to you hey? Sorry about that. Anyways I'll see you around Tuskino," He winked and then made his way down the hallway to his next class. He was almost as hot as Darien. The only difference is Allan is more friendly then Darien ever was. I'm not generally attracted to friendly.

As I walked down the hallway a girl ran past me and bumped into me knocking all my books to the floor.

"Piss off!" I shouted after her. I bent down and began to retrieve my fallen books. It's so rude when people don't stop and help you.

"Serena! What are you doing tonight?" Asked Darien walking up to me.

"Nothing," I replied looking up at him innocently.

"Would you like to hang out?" He inquired.

"Sure, want to come over?" I asked smiling. My mother was probably curious to meet Darien.

"Okay meet me at my truck after school," He added while jogging off to his next class.

After School…

"Mom I'm home and I brought Darien with me!" I shouted as we walked inside.

"Whose Darien?" Asked my mom. She promptly walked into the entrance way holding a pot that she was drying with a towel. She gave me a confused glance as she saw him walk in.

"Chiba Darien?" She questioned.

"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you," He bowed courteously and she did the same while returning to her dishes in the kitchen.

"You've already been in my house so I suppose there is no need to give you the grand tour," I joked while leading him up the stairs to my bedroom where we could have privacy.

"Your mother watched us the whole time we were down stairs, does she not approve of me?" Questioned Darien.

"Even if she doesn't she can't say anything. My parents were the same age gap as us when they started dating," I explained while seating myself next to him on my bed.

"They were? Did they have you young or were they older?" He asked.

"Young she was three months pregnant with me when they got married. That wasn't why they got married of course. It just pushed the wedding ahead a little," I told while turning to him. He was glaring at me intensively now. I hope he's not expecting us to mess around while my mother is home.

"What about your parents?" I said, changing the unsaid subject.

"My mom had me after three years of marriage to my dad," He said but his face said there was more to the story then what he was letting on.

"How old were you when your mother died?" I asked aloud then followed to cover my mouth. He turned to me with his dark blue eyes almost as if he was shocked that I would ask such a thing.

"I told you I'm very personal and don't open up much," He explained. "If you must know I was six,"

I nodded, almost as if I was expecting him to continue. In which to my amazement he did.

"She over dosed on drugs due to her broken heart," He exclaimed, then turned to face me. "She had a complicated affair behind my fathers back,"

* * *

****

Free Talk:

I know I know you probably hate me because I left you with such an awful cliffhanger. Well you're right it was an awful cliffhanger, I couldn't help it though! Just remember though this story isn't as predictable as it appears; you'll have to wait until next chapter to figure out why though! Please remember to review! Thanks


	10. Thank you for perfection

****

Free Talk

Thank you so so sooo much to those of you who reviewed my previous chapter. It's so weird how I have over two hundred reviews when I was used to getting maybe eight regular people a chapter in a story and now I'm getting like 48 people on this stories alert list! That's crazy! I must also warn though that this chapter contains a little lemony content. If you don't like that sort of thing just skip over it when you come across it, if you do though sorry if it's lame it's my first try! Anyways enjoy!

* * *

**Never Will We Be That Wonderful: 9**

It's a blowing shock to hear that your boyfriend's mother killed herself. However, then to be told that she killed herself due to an affair? That's even more bizarre and yet not unheard of. There are of course thousands of things I could say and I'm fighting with myself to know the one that is appropriate and yet I have this slight nagging feeling that no matter what I come up with he will be offended. I choose to say nothing then.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not telling you this for your pity," He stated, sounding annoyed with me. "Now you're curious as to what happened? Like you couldn't have guessed, even you aren't that slow,"

I find it funny how no matter what the circumstances he'll always find a way of making fun of me to keep himself from looking weak. Stupid. He doesn't seem to realize that by making fun of me I realize that he is weak therefore creating the very weakness that he fears in itself. Really it is a bit of a contradiction.

"My mom met Michael when I was young, I don't remember the first time I ever saw him. He would come over for frequent visits when my father wasn't home. My mother always made sure that I had something to occupy me. At the time I didn't realize it was so she could go off and have sex with Michael without me there to disturb them," He paused and looked at me. His eyes were dark and shining in the bright light giving off an angry vibe.

"The moment my Dad found out he refused to leave her saying that he wanted her more than the other guy did. I didn't know it until a little later but once Michael found out that my father knew he imediately broke off the affair with my mother. He couldn't afford for the scandal to break loose into the public, seeing as he was a wealthy businessman. After my father found out Michael had left he became obsesssed with wild accusations such as she was sleeping around or a stripper by night. So obsessed that he convinced himself that I was not his child and that I was Michael's son and he began to resent me. If only my father had of met Michael he would have realized that he wasn't Asian and that he was a blonde British boy,"

I could see his anger beginning to flare as he was telling me the story. His emotions were becoming intertwined with hatred and resentment.

"If he just seen Michael things could have gone back to the way they were! Then again he would still be horrible towards my mother. He then one day leaves my mother and tells her that I will grow up to be a bastard son. In the end he didn't only leave, he disowned me, making me no longer his son.  
My mother then began to blame me for everything wrong in her life. She hated looking at me because I wasn't Michael's son, I was her ex-husbands. She spent her days looking out towards the street below praying that one day Michael would come back for her. In the end I woke up one morning to go to the bathroom…" Again he paused this time he faced me his eyes blank as if he had been transported somewhere else. His breathing pattern was no longer normal and I could see his eyes glazed over.

"And there she was lying spread eagle on the floor staring at the ceiling fan, dead," He bit his lip looking at me. I imagine any normal person would begin to cry and break down after remembering such a catastrophe, but not Darien he stared at me still somewhere else, still in his own flashback.

"When they first told me that in her will she had sent me to be looked after by Michael, I could have died on the spot. I pleaded with the social worker that she should send me to an orphanage and she denied me of course, being that I was a minor. When I started to live with Michael he realized soon enough that I did not want to be there and he therefore sent me to an orphanage and I lived there for a while with occasional visits from him. He kept me quiet though, like he had his relationship with my mother. He was an influential businessman against hundreds of other influential businessmen just waiting for a Witherson scandal to errupt into the tabloids. He could never have been the father I wanted anyway. How could I even learn to love someone who killed my mother and made my father hate me?" He finished his story and the light returned to his eyes that were so clouded only moments ago.

I was at loss for words. How could I say something to someone who had been through so much? How was it he had never told a single sole up until now about this? Perhaps Raye did know she just didn't inform any of her friends in respect to him? She claims she's the closest to him and yet he just confided his life story in me! Was I supposed to tell him my life story? There is nothing like that to tell! I grew up a quiet life where everyone is happy and they all loved each other. It would only make him feel worse.

"I'm a fool; I swore never to tell anyone that. I think I should go," He said while getting up off my bed. I grabbed his hand in protest. After all you can't tell a story like that and expect to leave right after. "I really think I should go. We'll hang out another night,"

I looked up to his face which was looking at me. His eyes were glazed over again, this time by water. He was ready to cry and yet the tears did not fall. He noticed me staring and realized what I saw. He needs someone right now.

"I don't need you and you're wrong in what ever you're thinking," He argued seeing my eyes grow warm with concern. "I don't need anyone. You heard what I told you I've grown up alone! I can console myself!" He stomped out my bedroom door and down the stairs.

I closed my eyes and laid back down on my bed. I've come to the realization that everyone is lonely. I used to only think people such as Ami could be lonely, but I now see that even those who seem to have everything in the world including someone to love are the ones who are most unhappy. Once in love the person whom you wish to see can cause you to be lonely and therefore cause you too loose your love for them. I used to look at Darien as a sheer mystery and an object of lust. However, now that I've heard his past I realize that he is not the God everyone claims him to be; he's human. And whether he likes it or not, he needs me right now for he cannot be lonely.

I had made my decsion right there and I didn't care if it was getting late. I flew down the stairs towards the front door and booted it out the gate. I heard my mother yell after me, but there was no way in hell she could stop me.

I couldn't see his truck anymore, but I know where he is going. I turned a corner at the end of the road, still running at top speed, there was a short cut through the trails that lead me into to town. I tripped over roots in the ground and despite the mud covering my pants I continued to run though the dark thicket.

I'm scared of being rejected and told to leave and I'm completely terrified that he's going to slam the door in my face because I didn't listen to him. I don't want to hear his stubborness I want to comfort him!

I passed through the bushes that lead onto the road and I ran straight to the shopping district, near to where he lived in the two story condo. Then there it appeared straight in front of me, his two story condo.

My legs were now moving of their own free will. I was no longer doing the running they were. I came to a halt right in front of his door and gave it a soft knock. I heard footsteps and there stood Darien his eyes were jaded and his body looked tense, as if he had been crying. There was no sign of tears on his face. He gave me a confused look and I could feel my chest rise and fall as I panted heavily after my run.

He stepped down on to the pavement where I was and pulled me into a tight embrace. His strength was relaxed on me as I held him. I let him lean on me and thrust me against him harder. This is what he needed. It was what I needed to know, that he felt alone without someone there to hold him.

Slowly he swooped me up into his muscular arms and carried me inside his condo and closed the door with his foot. I was resting my head on his chest and my hand was rested gently to where his heart is.

He placed me down on the couch and moved atop of me and began to tenderly kis me. Skillfully he slid his hand up my skirt, gently caressing my thigh, lighting my body on fire. I can feel myself becoming warm and a sensation was fulfilling my body.

He continued his venture by leaving my lips and continuing to kiss down my neck. I shuddered at the sensation he was providing me. His hand tactfully began to slip up my shirt, his hands were cold and I jumped slightly but they soon grew warm. My breath was increasing with every kiss he planted on my neck. I heard a slight pop as I felt my bra undo. Almost immediately I covered them growing self-conscious. He sat up, confused and looked at me in curiosity.

"They're too small. Compared to other girls you've touched mine are mere dumplings to their melons," I said quietly biting my lip. I saw a smile play on his lips and he bent down to my neck and began kissing it again and as his lips grazed he mumbled, "Serena, you're perfect,"

At that very moment I let go. My arms slid away biding him to try again. His warm hand crept up my abdomen to my breast where his gentle hand massaged it. At that moment I became aware of the rather large bulge against me. I knew that it was his penis, only waiting to enter someone, that someone being me. I became increasingly aware of where this would lead to if not interrupted. His kisses were becoming lower and then he began to rise again from my belly button he was lifting my shirt straight off. I let him though my body was still letting go. No matter how hard I try to stop this and pull away, my body is on fire and I don't want this feeling to end. His mouth then concealed the nipple of my right breast and I couldn't stop myself from moaning in the pleasure he was conducting for me. This had to stop, if we continued you wouldn't find a virgin in the morning. Finally my mind is gaining control again.

"We have to stop," I said as I watched him continue ravish my breast. At the sound of my voice he immediately stopped as if turning himself off and shimmied up to lay equal with me on the couch. I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes in the moment. My breath still heaving inside my lungs.

"Thank you," He whispered against my head. I smiled.

The Next Day…

The smell of bacon and eggs aroused my senses. Funny, I could never smell my mother's cooking before. I reluctantly opened my eyes and noticed that I was in a living room that was definitely not my own. The sun was shining in through the terrace and the neatly arranged room had an essence of masculinity to it. I'm in Darien's condo. It's morning and I'm in Darien condo, still. My mother is going to rip me limb from limb.

"Serena are you awake?" I heard Darien shout from the kitchen. I nodded but then quickly realized that he wouldn't be able to see me nod.

"Mhmm," I replied wearily.

"Is bacon and eggs alright for breakfast?" he shouted.

"Darien did I fall asleep last night?" I replied to him, ignoring his question.

"Hmm, that would explain why you're waking up here now wouldn't it," He answered in his usual smug tone.

"My mother is going to kill me! Then she's going to kill you!" I yelled back sitting up and rubbing my eyes. My make-up had all rubbed off over night leaving me probably looking like a wreck.

"That's probably true," He replied casually.

Right now though I realize I don't care anymore. I just want to sleep and stay here. We didn't have sex so she shouldn't be completely mad. Then again she'll probably say I'm lying, because as we all know, girls who sleep with boys at their houses are not just sleeping they performing intercourse as well. I roll my eyes to this misguided thought I was having. For it was most certainly true that most mothers think this, but it was most certainly untrue that their daughters actually did this.

Sluggishly, I crept from the couch to where Darien was making breakfast. He was fully dressed and the table was set as if he had been awake for hours.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked curiously.

"Two hours now," He answered then pointed his spatula towards the time on the microwave. It read eight twenty seven. Today was Wednesday. Wednesday is a school day. Our school begins at quarter after nine. Oh god.

I looked at him in horror and he laughed and pointed his spatula towards the bathroom. I quickly ran in and took a quick shower then changed back into my smelly clothing. My uniform was at home. Shit.

Then while walking out of the bathroom I looked down the stairs to see my uniform and school bag resting against the wall. I looked at Darien with complete confusion written all over my face.

"How did these get here?" I asked looking at him amazed.

"Your mother dropped them off this morning. I haven't got the slightest idea how she knew where I lived," he answered calmly while placing the food he had been cooking onto the two plates.

"Was she angry?" I asked, a little frightened to hear the answer.

"Not angry… She was extremely calm. She then handed these to me," He said while grabbing a small box off the counter and throwing them at me. Contraception. My life is trash.

"Don't worry about it. I told her nothing happened and if it had I would have made sure to take those kind of necessary preparations,"

"Oh god you didn't say that," I pleaded with him.

"Of course I did. It's really none of her business what we do. No offense though but there's no way in hell I would get you pregnant. I'm not an idiot." He replied.

This statement makes me feel uneasy. I mean I could see why he wouldn't want to get me pregnant for the obvious reasons, but at the same time I can't help but feel that there is more to it then this. I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"What if you got me pregnant, would you stay with me?" I asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

He was silent, as if pretending he didn't hear the question. Then he slowly raised my head.

"I would be the best fucking dad to that child, even if we didn't stay together I'd be right there beside that child," a smile crept onto his lips. "Even you as a mother couldn't keep me away.

I was shocked, stunned, happy but most of all proud. Most people would have stereotyped him as someone who would get up and leave if his girlfriend became pregnant. I'm ashamed that I thought at one time that he would leave, but how was I to know his childhood was so rough? At that moment I walked up to him and hugged him from behind. His body tense up in surprise and then followed by relaxing in my embrace.

"I don't know what you're doing to me Serena," He stated while hugging my arms that were resting across his stomach. "But whatever it is, it's different and I'm enjoying it. When you showed up at my door it completely threw me off guard. No one else ever would have done that for me. No one else would have cared. Maybe I didn't tell anyone before and that's why they never showed such emotion. Last night though, it was amazing. I hope you have more surprises for me. I knew there was a real reason I was attracted to you,"

That Afternoon…

I had been sitting in the library for the last hour studying alone. I liked the library nobody would ever dare disturb someone else incase of interrupting an important study session for a test.

However in this case I had at least seven girls all piled around the table with me asking me questions about Darien and other people I happened to be connected to. There were even a few guys sitting at this very long table. It was at that moment I realized someone had just sat across from me. Everything around me froze as I realized who it was. There was Allan with a book on world history sitting straight across from me. He smiled and nodded then opened his book and began to read it. I tried to continue studying but I couldn't concentrate. I constantly found myself looking up to see if he was looking at me, in which he wasn't. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed his presence, of course they had they just weren't paying any attention to him. They were more concerned as to how 'big' Darien is. I was the only person who was affected by him sitting there. The sad and most pathetic part of that was he knew it too. Quickly I gathered my things and got up from the table and left the library.

"Serena!" I heard a voice call after me. I turned to see Allan running towards me.

"You left in such a hurry, was my presence bothering you?"

"No I was finished studying and I wanted to return to my locker so I can go to my next class," I lied and he saw right through it.

"Do I make you nervous Serena?" he asked then smiled after.

"Yes," I replied, lying was getting me anywhere so why not tell the truth.

"Why is that? I shouldn't make you nervous. I speak to you in Japanese now," He joked then flashed his perfectly straight teeth at me.

"What did you say to me in English last time we talked?" I questioned him, I was really serious. I wanted to know if he said his sister likes Darien and what he said about me.

"I said that my sister likes Darien and that I'm interested in you, 'fancy' Serena is a British word for 'like' understand?" he replied courteously.

"God I just knew that you said she likes Darien! Why can't people just leave him alone and face up to the fact that he's mine!" I explained in frustration, ignoring his last comment about the term 'fancy'.

"The same reason that I can't face up to the fact that you're his," answered Allan leaning against a locker in the hallway.

"What do you think he's to good for me? He is too good for me you're right," I replied turning my head away from Allan.

"No I think you're too good for him," He replied once more in his coy way.

"Where are you going with this?" I asked facing him again.

"I told you I'm merely interested in you. I think you judge yourself to harshly. Often I've heard you put yourself down and just so you know most men find this extremely unattractive. I think you're honest, beautiful, funny and all around interesting. With that said, I do find you terrible fake though," He stated, his face now wore a serious look.

"What makes you think I am fake?" I questioned, almost as if I had ignored his other comments. It's nice to pretend you're used to this sort of thing.

"You just did it right there, you're being someone you're not. You're not used to boys hitting on you or complimenting you. I believe given the opportunity if someone who was much more attractive than Darien were to come along and pay attention to you, you would leave him for them in a heartbeat," He said arrogantly. Who was he to say what I would do and wouldn't do?

How can this man be so bold as to say something like that to me? Does he know whom he is referring to? The Darien Chiba… The Darien that all girls would kill to spend one night with. I could feel my face darkening. I'd never give up Darien for someone else. I would hate to see him go to waste to someone else who just wants him to make them popular.

"I could never do that. I waited for so long to be with Darien. I suffered so much for him. He was my best friend's boyfriend and I still went out with him. I felt like I was being used by him for a period of time there but-" I explained but was rudely interrupted by Allan.

"And you still went out with him? Do you not realize you look like a fool explaining all this to me?" He said flashing me his bright amber eyes.

"You didn't let me finish. He never used me, I used him. I had feelings for him and instead of telling him I just made an affair relationship based on physical feelings. He needed something different someone whom he could share things with, not some girl he could get in their pants the moment they were alone. He needed someone to tell him no even though he wanted it. I know more about him than anyone else and no one will ever take that away from me, not some hot sexy new guy and certainly not you!" I explained glancing up at him with my light blue eyes. His face was still serious and except for the awkward grin plastered upon his lips. I brushed past him making sure to hit his shoulder.

"It's unfortunate that you spark my interest the moment I see you frustrated, for then do I see the true 'Tuskino Usagi'" He called after me. He dared to use my Japanese name.

That Evening…

I opened my front door to my house and saw my mother hurrying to make dinner in the kitchen. I'm a little frightened to see her but I guess this is what happens when you fall asleep in a boy's arms after almost having intimate sex with him. Perhaps I can sneak by her up to my room.

"Usagi may I have a talk with you?" I heard her call out from the kitchen. Great, my Japanese name, she might as well have said 'Serena you are in shit'.

"Mom I am so sorry! I just… It's just…" I stuttered under her domineering glare.

"It's fine, just please explain why," She said calmly. She was calm, if she's so calm then why did she call me Usagi?

"We had just had a conversation and he had explained some intimate details to me and I felt that it was my duty to comfort him. He was so upset and I felt so helpless as he walked out the door and refused to stay with me. I knew he needed me that's why I ran all the way to his house last night and then well I ended up falling asleep on his couch! I swear though mom I didn't have sex!" I shouted almost in tears now. I can't tell if these tears are real or if I'm merely making them happen for effect.

"I know you didn't have sex the pills were my friendly warning to him not you. If you had sex you would have acted completely different!" She shouted at me.

"How would you have known?" I asked, I was bewildered by her statement.

"A mother's intuition. My mother knew when I had sex and the next day she slapped me hard across my face," Stated my mom while holding her hand to her face as if remembering the pain she had felt that day.

"So are you angry at me? Do you want me to ground myself?" I asked looking at her.

I had never been grounded before in my life. I was a relatively good child. Until now I had never given her cause to want to ground me.

"No you're not grounded. I'm not angry with you. As stupid as this may sound it would be hypocritical of me to say that you're not allowed to sleep over at his house. However with that in mind I would prefer it if you didn't," She explained.

I nodded in my understanding and left the kitchen to go to my bedroom. I set my things down and stripped until I was in my panties and bra and then I laid down on the bed.

As I lay in deep thought I now realize that I had been called beautiful today and by all people, Allan. Darien never called my beautiful, although last night he said I was perfect. Which is better though to be beautiful or to be perfect? If I am beautiful then I have desireable qualities, but if I am perfect then I am flawless. Darien once told me I was not as hot as Raye and yet he exclaims last night that I am perfect. A part of me thinks this was a ploy to get into my pants and yet somehow I can't trust that theory. I just don't see it in him to try and get in my pants that way. Either way I feel rather beautiful right now after hearing those comments actually directed at me. I can hear my annoying cell phone tone going off in my school bag.

"Hello?" I said into the cell phone.

"Hey it's Mina," I heard her chirp. Strange, I hadn't heard from Minako in a very long time.

"Hi, what are you phoning me for?" I questioned, it was strange to hear from her now after she had abandoned me as soon as Darien and I started going out.

"I just wanted to see how you were and what's new with you," She stated, still in a rather bubbly tone.

"Nothing much. No offense Minako but why are you really phoning me? I thought you had stopped wanting to hang out with me?" I said into the receiver.

"Nope definitely not. I've just been really busy with other things sorry. I've met all these really cool people… You should meet Axel, he's from Germany and he's gorgeous! Oh and then there's Drew from New York, again beautiful…" She droned on.

Somehow I could care less about these boys whom she was claiming to be gorgeous. Considering I was now going out with Darien her conversation about boys I should meet seems rather pointless. It was ridiculous trying to reason with her though. It seems all she ever wants to do now is meet guys. Funny how she always leads them on and yet never dates a single one of them. Her attitude is awful as well. I find it strange how she changed so much within such a short amount of time. I knew though that it was only to soon that she would get bored of me.

"How are you and Darien?" She said happily into the phone.

"We're fine," I answered.

"Are you giving me the cold shoulder?" She said a little stunned into her side of the phone.

"Not trying to, sorry," I lied.

"Hmm, it's because you're all of a sudden popular now and you feel you're too good for your old confidant?" She said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not popular and no offense but you pretty much ditched me for so long I find it strange that you want to hang out with me now," I shot back.

"Not like you tried to hang out with me now did you?" She laughed into the phone. "Whatever Serena I have to go maybe see you at school if your heads not to big to look my way in the hallway,"

I heard the phone hang up. Well I'm in complete shock. The nerve of her to talk like that to me when she's the one who ditched me. I didn't contact her because I felt there must be a reason why she's not wanting to speak to me. Who says I'm popular? Sure lots of people talk to me and I have two boys interested in me but is that what popularity is? No!

The Next Day…

I walked down the crowded hallway when some girl ran into me and almost knocked me to the ground.

"I'm sorry Serena," She stammered looking at me with fear. No one had ever looked at me with fear in their eyes. I almost like this feeling.

"You better be sorry, piss off," I said while she ran away pushing her way through the hallway. I looked over to see Darien sitting there watching me. His eyes unreadable. I blushed and continued walking past him just as he grabbed my arm.

"What was that?" He asked looking at me.

"What was what?" I replied by asking a question as well.

"The way you completely humiliated that girl, since when do you do shit like that?" He said confused.

"I always hated people almost pushing me over in the hallway. Now that people seem to respect me more I don't have to fall over and have them run off without saying sorry," I smiled looking past him. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

Even in the crowded hallway people made a small bubble around us. I feel like a Queen, similar to how Darien must feel at all times. I felt eyes on me though. I couldn't pin point from where but someone was looking at me. I searched the hallway for Allan but he was no where in site nor was his sister Natsumi or Raye. Then there she was, leaning against her locker staring straight at me. Naru looked disgusted by me. Now I was really confused for I had done nothing wrong and yet here she is with this horrified look spread across her face.

"Naru?" I called out at her, but she shook her head and turned to go through the crowd down the hallway. What had I done to offend her?

****

* * *

**Free Talk:**

Booooo… What a terrible ending I've given you! I must say I've probably re-written this chapter about four times. I was never satisfied with it, I'm glad I finally am now though. I like how it's going and there were some VERY important points in this chapter that you won't really realize were important until I'm finished writing this story. Hehe please remember to REVIEW! Thanks, until next time! Bye!


	11. Everything is History

****

**Free talk:**

Hello Readers! I've updated once again with my eleventh chapter, I'd first like to say sorry for the error in my last chapter, Serena was _definitely_ supposed to be wearing a skirt **NOT** pants (thanks Bballnfieldhocke for pointing out my mistake) And without further ado the latest chapter!

NOTE THERE IS LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER, IF YOU DISLIKE THAT SORT OF THING THEN DON'T READ

* * *

****

**Never Will We Be That Wonderful:  Chapter 11**

I remember that day so clearly in my mind. That day I first started elementary school. That day, when I met Naru for the first time…

"I want the yellow!" shouted a stout boy with thick black glasses as he shoved me to the floor.

"I was here first!" I cried as I sat up and crossed my arms.

"Leave her alone! She was here first!" screamed a girl with short wavy black hair as she grabbed the yellow paint out of the fat boy's hand.

"Here you go, he's a bully!" She said then stuck her tongue out to show her distaste of him.

"I'm Serena," I smiled while standing up to hug her for saving me. She laughed.

"I'm Naru, you have really long hair!" She commented while picking up my then black pig tail.

"Thanks, you have really big eyes," I smiled and she giggled and she took my hand to lead my over to the art supplies.

I remember that day so clearly. Standing up for me became a trend with her. When people would make fun of me she would comfort me and tell me that they're all just jealous. From that moment on her and I were best friends, inseparable even. It wasn't until high school when I made friends with Raye that we would be apart. I remember slowly starting to avoid Naru until she finally confronted me about it after school one afternoon…

"Serena! I need to talk to you!" She shouted while chasing after me out the front door of our school. It was raining outside, just like any other sad depressing day.

"What about?" I asked, pretending that this was not the conversation I had dreaded.

"Our friendship. You constantly ditch me for Raye and her friends. I mean I like Raye and all, but sometimes I just want to hang out with you and she's always with you now and I almost feel like you're trying to replace me," She laughed quietly as if hoping I was going to tell her that she was imagining things. She looked up at me. She could see that I was not about to deny her accusation. "So I'm right, you are replacing me with Raye,"

"I'm not replacing you, I could never replace you. I just happen to spend more time with Raye now," I answered while avoiding contact with her eyes.

"I thought we were best friends," She said sadly. I couldn't tell if they were rain drops or tears falling down her cheeks. Her now auburn hair was soaked because unlike me she didn't have an umbrella.

"We are best friends Naru, but Raye is my best friend also," I replied walking towards her to put the umbrella over her head as well. She moved away from it looking down at the ground.

"We're fake best friends Serena," She cried at me then ran away out of the parking lot down the road in direction to her house. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes now. She was right, we were fake best friends. We were no longer that infamous duo we used to be. We had moved on. I had moved on.

I could feel a small tear escaping my eye just thinking about that memory. I never wanted our friendship to end, but Raye hated Naru. I guess you could say she was jealous, because Ami, Lita, Mina and Raye were best friends and they were mine also but I also had Naru. Raye wanted there to be only us in the group no more than five. I have so many regrets about my life; like most people do.

The Next Day…

"Serena!" Called Ami through the crowded hallway. I waved casually as I approached her.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked while turning to smile at someone who waved at me.

"No time for that we have to go to the bathroom now!" shouted Ami while grabbing my hand and pulling me through the people who were slowly parting for us down the hallway.

"What's in the bathroom?" I questioned while being thrusted in through the bathroom doors.

That was when I saw it there on the mirror was written in red lipstick. 'Tuskino Serena equals bitchy whore!'. My mouth dropped slightly, my first instinct was Raye.

"Who did it?" I asked Ami and she turned to me her face looking rather sallow.

"You'd think Raye, but she's been away from school for the past few days. I saw the girl do it this morning when I was using the toilet. I don't know her name, but I can point her out to you," she explained. "But that's not the only thing I need to show you,"

She then opened the last toilet stall and written on the door was 'Serena is a slut'. I fell to the floor. No one has ever hated me before without cause. Raye at least had an excuse, I took her boyfriend. I didn't understand, people were being nice to me because they thought I was the new Raye. Since when was I hated so much? What did I do to this girl that was so bad? Did she have a crush on Darien or something?

Ami took my hand and lead me into the hallway. We stood looking at people in front of the girls bathroom door. Ami then tapped my shoulder and pointed at the girl. She was the girl who had almost toppled me yesterday when I was in the hallway. What did I do to her that pissed her off so much?

"What did I do to her to piss her off so much?" I asked out loud. That's when Lita approached us and leaned against the wall beside me.

"Apparently you told her to piss off and everyone heard you and now are all abandoning her, thinking you'll hate them if you talk to her," Explained Lita.

"What? That's ridiculous I'm not some sort of Diva!" I shouted and everyone around me heard.

Then I felt a light tap on my shoulder and I turned to find a guy who was in a grade above me. He handed me a dozen roses.

"These are for you, I think you're amazing," He smiled at me and winked. I was already in a bad mood he doesn't need to bring me flowers! I threw the flowers at his face.

"I don't need this right now!" I shouted and pushed the girls bathroom door open and crouched down in the corner. I heard Lita and Ami walk in to the bathroom as well.

"Am I bad? Am I really a diva now?" I asked, wanting their honest opinions.

"Not even close Serena. Do you even remember what Raye was like? She was a billion times worse! She purposely stole people's boyfriends!" Replied Lita, I think Lita is still hurt over Raye's attempt at taking Motoki away from her.

"She's right. Raye used to always make me do her homework if she hadn't finished it the night before. She refused to believe that I was too sick to throw a party! Remember that time when I had Mono and she wouldn't believe that I couldn't move and made me throw that party? I could have died, literally!" Cried Ami in frustration.

They're right Raye was so much worse than I was. I'm still the same old nice Serena I always was and I'm definitely not the new Raye like people think I am becoming.

"You guys are right. Let's go to class," I smiled as I walked into the hallway. I saw Naru she was picking up the flowers off the floor. She then read the card and I guess it said my name on it because she looked up at me, shook her head then dropped the flowers into the trash can. I couldn't help but feel guilty for throwing them in the guys face. After all they probably were rather expensive.

After School…

"Do you think I'm becoming the new Raye?" I asked Darien as he turned down the road to drive me to his house.

"Not really," He answered dryly.

"I'm glad you don't think so," I smiled sarcastically then turned to look out the window.

"Is what that girl wrote on the mirror and stall door bothering you?" He asked.

"It's driving me insane. I can't stand it when people hate me without a real reason," I admitted while turning to face him.

"There's the proof that you're not like Raye. She had no conscience she wouldn't have cared if they wrote stuff about her on the wall. She didn't care what others think and neither should you. I know you're a good person and so do your friends," He replied smiling at me as we stopped at the stop light.

"I wonder if my friends actually think I am a good person or if they're merely being my friends because I'm their 'new boss'," I said out loud. It truly was my greatest mystery.

"Probably a little of both. Ami and Lita were always popular. They're beautiful, smart, funny and generally nice people. They just seem to not know where they fit in and therefore cling to others who are 'popular' such as Raye, Mina and yourself," He explained while turning into his driveway.

"That may be true. As for Mina she dances to her own tune and she's been like that since I've known her. She never just had us as her friends. She knew a lot of people and I admired her for that. Raye had feared her for that. Now she completely ditches everyone for Hatsumi. You know that girl in your grade? The girl who tries to go by 'Heather' but we all still call her Hatsumi?" I questioned seeing if he knew who I was talking about; not to mention what he knew about her.

In our school people generally go by either their English names or Japanese names. You basically pick one or the other when you're in your first year of elementary school. People used to make fun of my name "Usagi" because it means rabbit so I automatically chose my English name. People think it's distasteful though when you try to switch to either your English or Japanese name later in life. Hence the reason people younger then Hatsumi never call her Heather.

"Maybe in your grade you guys call her Hatsumi, but we all call her Heather. She's nice, not someone I would think Mina would get along with, but she's relatively fun. She's a cheap drunk though," He laughed as if remembering a fond memory from a party.

"Whatever, I think she's rather annoying. She will walk straight up to Mina and strike up a conversation that only the two of them know about; ignoring anyone else who happens to be talking with her. She's just very rude," I vented.

"Maybe she's shy. Mina's best friends tend to be shy people because she's so loud. Look at you, weren't you closest with her in your group when Raye was with you guys?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not shy. People only believed I was shy because I never talked and that was because Raye would make fun of almost everything I would say when I'm around people," I replied. Darien started to laugh.

"You and I used to make fun of each other all the time. I'd usually win in our small arguments. Raye didn't like how we were like that. She just wanted us to get along so bad. Now look at us she should have hoped differently," He smiled.

"No kidding. Who knew I was capable of becoming a backstabbing bitch. Then again she never really was in love with you; it was all an act," I said matter-of-fact like.

"I knew she wasn't in love with me. I was a boyfriend of convenience and she was a girlfriend of the same. Don't call yourself a backstabbing bitch though, because you're not. You've done nothing wrong it was my fault to begin with anyway," stated Darien.

He was deep and that's something I admired about him. One of the many qualities I found intriguing about him. His physical attributes enticed me and just looking at him I know I want him. When he was making out with me at his house I wanted him, but my mind rang out to stop me. My mind holds me back and keeps my true desires hidden. Unlike boys, us girls can easily hide our arousal. Unfortunately for men theirs sticks up in their pants letting the world know that they want more then just a kiss on the lips. I'm glad I'm a girl.

We arrived at his house just around dinner time. I leaned against his kitchen counter and he walked up to me and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes enjoying the soft lips pleasantly trailing my neck. My mouth soon found his; our lips colliding roughly. I could feel his tongue slip in and mine greeted it hear tingly. My body was becoming hot now. I thought we were going to have dinner not make out; not that I'm complaining. His finger tips were now compassionately caressing my thigh sending shivers up my body. My stomach was turning in knots of anticipation. Is this what I wanted? To loose my virginity now? At fifteen? To Darien? His hand was warm as it crept up my blouse to my bra where slid his hand under to access my breasts.

It was at that moment I began with my own hands. I moved them up his shirt over his abdomen; I could feel his sculpted stomach. I pulled his shirt over his head and off him. He did the same to me. He bent his head down to my breast and sucked on my nipple. I moaned out loud, I could feel him smile as he continued to kiss me. He then stopped everything he was doing and pulled away. I just stood there dumbfounded. He had stopped. I hadn't told him too. This is what I want, why would he just stop now?

"Why are you stopping?" I asked looking at him in confusion.

"This isn't what you want," He said casually while throwing my shirt at me.

"How do you know what I want? You want it too! I can see it in your pants," I accused, anger growing inside me.

"You're like a horny boyfriend you know that Serena? You don't want it. You're becoming aroused and it's not fare to let you make that mistake just because you're turned on," He replied as he pulled his own shirt over his head.

"That's not fare! I do want it!" I shouted back at him. I feel so hurt, as if he doesn't want me. He looked at me then shook his head in disappointment.

"Don't change what you want just because you're with me. I'm going to go take a shower," He replied while walking towards his bathroom.

A shower? Too cool himself off. He's just going to leave me hanging here like this? Wanting more but not allowed to have it. A shower sounds nice though. That's it. I'm joining him weather he likes it or not. I can hear the water running so he must be in it now.

I slowly crept into the bathroom and undressed myself. I can't believe I'm about to do this. I opened the shower door, scaring the hell out of him and climbed in. This was the true Serena. The bold side no one ever gets too see. He looked at me, his eyes running up and down my body. Mine were doing the same to him. I had never seen a naked man before. I could feel my cheeks turning crimson.

"You know I'm not going to sleep with you right," He said strictly.

"I didn't come in here to sleep with you," I answered and took the soap and began to wash myself. It was at that moment when I felt his arms encircle me. He pushed his lips hard against mine and slowly began to coax me to do the same. He took the soap from my hand as he began kissing my neck and washed my back. His lips met mine again with a hint of tongues. My hands were placed on his chest, keeping a small distance between us. I parted from his lips and tenderly kissed his neck. By the time we got out of the shower our bodies were wrinkled by the water.

"You know, by being in the shower with me you defeated it's purpose," He stated. I turned to him, he still had his erection. I smiled slyly watching as he covered himself with a towel.

"At least I know you find me relatively attractive," I winked at him while pulling my towel around my body.

"I find you way more than attractive," He replied pulling me towards him and kissing me.

"Come on, I'll drive you home,"

Later that Evening…

Laying on my bed always makes me think. Was this what love was? Being able to express yourself physically? Or was love an emotional feeling. I always thought love was something stupid. It was something people did so that they weren't so alone and yet in the end they always ended up being alone. My mom for instance her husband, or "love" is always on business trips all over Japan. Does she ever consider the fact that he could be having an affair? That there are more attractive women then her abroad? No she never thinks this way. Perhaps I suppose I am like her in that sense. I never think Darien is looking at other girls and yet he probably is. I don't look at other boys. Or do I? I guess I look at Allan in that way, but nothing would ever come of it.

Does Darien have the capability to love me? I doubt he's ever been in love with a girl before. Then again I've never been in love with a guy before. Or is this love that I am feeling between Darien and I right now? He sleeps with women whom he does not love. I'd hate myself if I lost my virginity to someone whom I was not in love with. I would want someone who I love and who loves me in return.

The Next Day…

"Serena!" I heard a voice call in the empty hallway. I was late arriving to school. I saw Allan running towards me.

"Why aren't you in class yet?" I asked him while opening my locker.

"I slept in and now I have to help sweep the hallways after lunch," He explained while also opening his locker. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing," I replied as I grabbed my history book.

"Nothing? That's perfect, then you're coming out with me," He said happily across from me.

"Oh am I?" I asked coyly.

"Well you're not doing anything with Darien are you? Nor none of your friends so why not hang out with me? It's not like we're going on a date," He replied casually.

Not going on a date, he just had to add the word date in there. That just made the situation worse.

"Fine, let's hang out on tomorrow then," I replied. He was right it wasn't a date so Darien couldn't be angry with me. Allan is just a friend. A friend who is 'interested' in me. A friend who makes me nervous.

"Serena! Mr. Kokori is pissed with you hurry up!" shouted Lita opening a class room door down the hallway, she was in my history class as well.

"Well I'm off see you later Allan," I said while walking down the hallway to go to where Lita was just standing.

"See you tomorrow then," He smiled and turned to go in the opposite direction.

What have I gotten myself into.

The Next Evening…

"Serena a young man is down here waiting for you!" Shouted my mom downstairs.

I had been trying for at least three hours to get the outfit right. It was different from when going on a date with Darien. I was never scared Darien would judge me by my clothing because he had seen me at my worse when he was with Raye. This was different though, I was not comfortable with Allan at all. I finally decided on a jean skirt with fringe trim and a plum blouse.

"Don't you look sophisticated," commented Allan as he watched me come down the stairs. "Don't worry Mrs. Tuskino I won't have her out late!"

He was even polite to my mother, he even bowed as we were to leave. She will fall in love with him and tell me to break up with Darien. I can hear it now.

"Where are we going?" I inquired as I did up my seatbelt. He drove an old mustang, it may be old but it was beautifully restored.

"An art show, I don't know if you'll like it but I need someone to bring with me and well you're the only girl I could see polite enough to bring," He laughed while pulling out of my driveway.

"Thanks, I think," I smiled slightly. Thank god it was dark so he didn't see that. I do like art though, it is one of my rare talents.

We entered this building that I had noticed before but never entered and there were many people our age there looking at the various pieces, but mostly adults. I noticed one piece in particular that drew my attention. It was of a naked couple, their chests to their heads was all you could see. They were about to kiss in the painting. It was titled 'Passionate'.

"I never knew you would find such a passionate painting so interesting," He smiled watching me look at the paiting.

"It's a beautiful technique, in oils I believe," I replied, sporting my knowledge of art.

"It's beautiful, the girl actually reminds me of you with the flowing blonde hair," He explained motioning his fingers in the air along the blonde hair on the painting.

"The hair is the only thing merely resembling me, the guy is dark and masculine. Similar to Darien," I smiled looking at the detail in the faces.

"I don't see Darien in the painting, but to each their own," He said drowning off to another painting. I wanted this painting, I viewed the price tag and it read fourty thousand yen. I could afford it if I spent no money for the next four months and saved my ten thousand yen a month allowance. It was at that moment I felt a hand tap my shoulder. I turned to find Micheal Witherson, Darien's 'father'.

"So we meet again Miss. Tuskino," He said quietly.

"Good evening Mr.Witherson, please call me Serena," I smiled warmly.

"Are you here with Darien?" He said glancing around at the youth in the room.

"No a friend of mine brought me here, he's over there looking at the fruit paintings," I said calmly. Why did it make me feel awkward mentioning Allan's presence to Darien's 'father'.

"Oh, I didn't think you would actually be here with Darien, he always hated this sort of thing. I wished to speak with him the other day, but he hasn't been answering his phone lately. Perhaps you could pass on a message for him to phone me?" Inquired Michael smiling slightly.

"Of course I will," I answered. It's so weird to know this man's past and yet I look at the sadness that still rests in his eyes. Perhaps he still longs for Darien's mother. Perhaps he really did love her.  
"Beautiful," He commented. I looked at him with confusion and he chuckled slightly. "The painting you were admiring, it's beautiful. Breath taking even,"

"It's wonderful, I'd love to own it. The artiste did a good job portraying love in the act," I smiled, thinking back to Darien and I.

"Maybe some day you will," He nodded then continued over the next row of paintings.

"Serena, we have to go I told your mom I'd get you home on time," He explained while taking my hand to lead me out the door. I stepped into his car and slipped my seatbelt over my chest. That painting still remained on my mind. It sort of answered my question on whether love was physical or emotional. In that painting I see that it is indeed a little of both. Love is expressed through, words, feelings and actions.

"Thank you for coming out with me tonight Serena," He said as he walked me to my door.  
"You don't need to walk me to the door Allan," I laughed as he leaned his head towards mine. I froze, everything froze. He touched his lips to my forehead and then silently turned and walked back to his car. All he did was kiss my forehead, that's not something to tell Darien about right?

The Next Day…

"Serena! Wake up! Come here!" Shouted my mom excitingly up the stairs. I reluctantly slipped out of bed and sluggishly made my way downstairs to where she was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Look what came for you!" She said enthusiastically as she pointed towards a covered package.

I walked over to the package and undid the rope that held it all together and the packaging fell to the floor revealing the painting from the night before with a brilliant face plate at the bottom reading the word 'passionate'. I smiled glowering at the painting.

"Was there a card?" I questioned happily. My mom handed me a small card that had been attached to the front it read:

To Miss.Tuskino

You're in love, indulge your passion.

Anonymous

****

Free Talk:

Well there's the latest chapter, try not to hate me too too much for leaving you there, without a name. Any guesses who sent it to her? Hehe that's my secret! See you next chapter!

Ps. Sorry my 'lemony' parts suck, I'm not very good at them… yet!


	12. People Assume Too much

Free Talk: Sorry it has taken me so long… I had a small bout of writers block… which is gone now! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! As well to MegTao I wrote chapter eleven twice in the title but really it's supposed to be ten and eleven. Thanks for pointing that out though. - Alisabeth

Never Will We Be That Wonderful: **Chapter 12**

Anonymous. People write anonymous when they don't want someone to know their identity. In a story I read a few years ago a woman would send criticism and rude comments to people and sign the paper anonymous. When the people she sent them to found out who they were from she became an outcast and no longer that sweet old woman that she had portrayed herself to be.

In this case something wonderful was bought for me. Why on earth would that person not want to make themselves known to me? My first instinct is Michael. Last night he blatantly told me that 'maybe someday I would', but if that's the case how would he know that I was in love with Darien? There's no one else I could think of who could afford that painting.

I leaned the painting against my desk. It was still as beautiful as the night before. Now that I stare at it a little closer I could see how Allan thought she looked like me. Her eyes were similar to mine in color and shape, but the hair was dead on the same. The man looked shamelessly like Darien, so alike that there would be little differences to describe.

__

Later that day…

A knock came on my bedroom door and in walked Ami and Lita dressed in rain coats as it had been pouring outside all day.

"You're all soaked!" I giggled.

"It's not our fault were to young to drive. If it was up to us we wouldn't have walked here," complained Lita while removing her coat and hanging it on my coat rack.

"What brings you two here," I asked, still amused by their drowned rat look.

"We need to discuss a certain issue with you," explained Lita. "And see how you feel about it,"

"Well discuss away," I said looking at them both. My stomach sank, I was really hoping it wasn't about me. I've had enough problems with girls at school I didn't need my friends digging into me as well.

"It's about Minako. She's been very distant lately and always with that Hatsumi girl. Who tries to be Heather but I'm sorry you just can't go and switch to your English name this late in life!" criticized Ami.

"I agree no one even calls her Heather!" complained Lita while taking a seat in my desk chair.

"People in her grade often call her Heather. Darien refers to her as Heather. You're right though about Mina, she has been rather distant lately. She even gets mad at me saying that I'm too full of myself to make plans with her," I said dryly. It was the truth and it hurt when she said that to me.

"We're thinking of cutting her off completely. Show her that she can't just have us in the background. She either has both all the time or just one," exclaimed Ami. "I just hope she chooses the right one,"

"Has anyone said anything to her?" I questioned.

"How can we? We never see her! She's not even in the same lunch period as us anymore. She switched into Hatsumi's," shouted Lita, now getting frustrated

"In a sense I almost want to say then let her go. If she doesn't want to be friends with us that bad then I say let her go be with Hatsumi," I explained with a sad toned voice.

I didn't want to leave Minako, but she was being so rude to us.

"Serena, please! Clearly we're too selfish for that. And so is she! She's the same girl whose too busy to hang out with us on Friday night but when there's a party she's in there like a dirty shirt!" yelled Ami.

"Fine then, confront her about it," I said, getting a little irritated with the two's lack of reasoning.

"She says bad things about you behind your back you know?" stated Lita turning to face me.

"She says bad things to my face too," I replied smiling sadly.

"No it gets worse. She says that you've changed and that you've become a huge bitch ever since you got yourself a boyfriend. Plus she even accuses you of secretly wanting to be Raye this entire time," Continued Lita. I stood up in outrage.

"Why does everyone have this strange idea that I've become a bitch?" I shouted getting extremely annoyed.

"You're not, if you were we'd tell you believe me," said Lita. Her comment doesn't stop me from trying to change the subject though.

"Someone sent me a painting," I said quietly pointing to the canvas leaning against my desk.

"I was wondering about that. It's beautiful, is it of you and Darien?" questioned Ami examining it further.

"No that's just a coincidence. Allan and Mr. Witherson, Darien's father, both thought the same thing though. I just liked what it stands for. I commented on how much I loved it and the next day someone sent it to me," I exclaimed, my happy returning to me now.

"You mean you have no idea who sent you this beauty?" Said Lita while standing back from it to get a better look.

"Not a clue. Well I have a small clue; I told Mr. Witherson that I would like to own it and his reply was maybe some day you will," I explained glancing at the gorgeous painting.

"Who did you go with to the art exhibit?" Questioned Ami.

"…" I hesitated this was not something I wanted to tell people but I suppose I'll have to. "Allan Debelle,"

"Allan? You mean as in the really hot guy from England?" She exclaimed.

"The very same," I replied.

"How? Why would he ask you to go? Let alone why would you go with him? You're dating Darien Chiba! Everyone knows that you don't tangle with Darien's girls unless you want the crap kicked out of you," finished Lita.

"Nothing happened. He just invited me to an art show as friends. Why would Darien care if I have a guy friend or not?" I asked. It's true Darien has loads of girl friends why does it matter if I hang out with a guy or two?

"It does matter. He will be jealous of you being friends with Allan," continued Lita.

"How do you figure? When he was dating Raye she was able to flirt and tempt other guys behind his back and pull off the 'we're just friends' story. Of all the people why would he not trust me?" I asked.

"That's just it. He never really liked Raye. He's in love with you," said Lita.

Love? He is most certainly not in love with me. If he was so infatuated then why hasn't he just come out and say it. Then again I suppose I have no idea what I would say in return to him seeing as I can't get my own feelings in order.

"He's not in love with me," I stated.

"Are you kidding? Of course he is! All he ever does is talk about you and he just constantly wants to be with you. That's love," explained Ami.

"Is it love though? Is that all there is to love? Wanting to talk about one an other and being together at all times? Is that all there is? I think love should be a lot deeper than that," I confessed.

"Are you in love with him?" Asked Ami

Pause. Since when do they care if I'm in love or not? It's not like I want to yell it at the top of the roof. Teenagers aren't really in love they merely think they are because it's a fantasy that they want to live; a fantasy they think they should live. I guarantee most will say they're in love but the moment the couple breaks up their answer changes to, 'I wasn't really in love I just thought I was'. Talk about heart shattering for the delusional.

"I'm not in love with him," I replied coming to a stand.

"You're not?" said Ami in a rather sarcastic tone of voice.

"No, I'm not. If this was love wouldn't I feel something different? I mean for god sakes he still gives me butterflies in my stomach when I go to see him. If our relationship hasn't passed that point then why would I call it love?" I defended myself.

"Or is it that you're in love that those butterflies are still there," replied Ami, as if she was some sort of love expert.

"What if Allan sent you the painting?" Said Lita suddenly looking up at me.

"Why would you say Allan?" I asked.

"This card. It says 'you're in love. Indulge your passion.' maybe Allan knows something about you that you don't," she smiled handing me the card. "Because I highly doubt Darien's father would,"

Allan? I had never even considered the possibility of it being Allan. The painting was a lot of money and unless Allan is secretly wealthy then how could he have afforded it? Then that doesn't answer why he would spend such a great amount on me. If I am in love and if I am to indulge my passion then it would be with Darien not Allan. So the question still remains the same, why?

"I'm pretty sure it was Allan then. He certainly acts as though he's attracted to you perhaps this is his way of showing it," explained Lita.

"This painting was extremely expensive how could Allan have afforded it?" I asked.

"The Debelle family is by far a very prominent family in the business world. His father is the president of an oil company. Besides, have you not seen the purse that Natsumi carries? It's a Louis Vuitton!" cried Ami while crossing her arms.

Deep down in side Ami is a brand whore. Being that she too is wealthy she receives lavish presents when her parents go away on trips in compensation for leaving her all by herself. She has received several designer bags but never has her parents brought her back something Louis Vuitton. This drives Ami insane.

"Well you would know," I said plainly.

"Of course I would. It's the only thing I ever ask my parents to bring me back and have they? No! They just bring me back the same designers as usual and when I ask why they say that they never saw a Louis Vuitton store. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. They leave me alone half the time and they can't for once just bring back a Louis Vuitton hand bag!" She cried, her eyes were showing small tears.

This debate was no longer the fact that they didn't bring her back something Louis Vuitton, but the fact that they never brought her.

"Why is that stupid?" questioned Lita, oblivious to Ami's secret pleadings.

"There's several stores in each country," she sniffed while taking a tissue from my tissue box.

"Where are your parents right now Ami?" I asked giving her a soft hug.

"In England," She cried. "I miss them so much,"

At this point Lita sat beside her and put her arm around her.

"How come it's all of a sudden bothering you now?" Asked Lita.

"It always bothers me. The fact that it hurt me I didn't think really matter all that much. I'm spoiled and rich and to my parents that should be enough to keep a daughter happy. Just like in a tell a tale movie where the spoiled daughter is lonely. It's not just a movie plot it happens in real life. My mother has never once said 'Ami I love you'. She just buggers off with my dad to some place where I'm not. You know I was an accident? They weren't even planning on having any children," She said sadly and fell into my arms.

"We knew Ami, we knew you weren't as strong as you appeared," I said while stroking her hair gently.

"You knew?" She asked lifting her head a little to look at me.

"Of course I did. It's always been your greatest lie," I replied gently. She hugged me tightly.

"Thank you," She laughed through tears. The two of us hugged her hoping to make her feel better.

What really was there for us to do? I knew one day she would break down and tell us her parent troubles. I expected it and knew that I could not push her to talk about it. She would say something when she was ready. It just so happens something so simple as a Louis Vuitton hand bag would make her explode.

__

The Next Day…

"Serena! Come here!" Shouted Lita as she ran towards me and grabbed my arm.

"What is it?" I asked looking at her in confusion.

"It's Raye I found out why she hasn't been here," explained Lita in a hushed down whisper. "Her Grandfather died three weeks ago and she has gone missing ever since,"

"What?" I said in disbelief.

"Apparently, he had a stroke in his sleep and Raye was the one to find him," explained Lita.

"And they have no idea where Raye could be?" I said making sure I got everything.

"Exactly. She's been missing for over three weeks now and the house has basically been abandoned. The principal told me this morning because he was wondering if I knew any location Raye could have gone," She explained. Tears were welling up in Lita's eyes.

"I know she was mean and I know she treated everyone badly but she's all alone. No one deserves this,"

"What about Natsumi?" I asked, tears now beginning to appear in my eyes too. I was feeling shameful.

"Natsumi? She's been gone for a while now. She went into home schooling," explained Lita.

"Why did she do that?" I asked

"I don't know maybe ask her brother," Said Lita while turning to go to the bathroom. "Where do you think Raye went?"

"I'm not sure," I replied while wiping the tears from under my eyes.

It was at that moment that the thought struck me, lake Oshinibi. That was the lake where I believe something happened to Raye's parents and siblings. It was the perfect place to hide as it was off season and no one would be there except for the temple priests and priestesses.

"Whore," Some girl said as she passed me.

"Excuse me?" I shouted back at her.

"You heard me bitch! Raye left because of you!" She shouted across the hallway.

"What is she talking about?" I asked to Lita.

"That's a stupid rumor going around. You apparently drove Raye away and that she was really gone a while ago and that her grandfather died of loneliness. Don't worry though most people know it's not true," She explained while turning to leave. "I've got to go though I'll see you after class,"

"How could people even say that about me? I'm not this horrible person they're all making me out to be!" I shouted out loud.

"Yes you are," I heard a familiar voice from behind me say. I turned to find Naru standing there clutching her history text book. "You've turned into what I know you used to hate,"

"What are you talking about?" I asked while I turned to face her.

"Serena want to skip the next class with me? I think we need to talk," she explained while placing her book in her hand bag.

What did I have to loose? Maybe she could help me fix this issue I've been having.

The two of us walked up the hidden staircase in the drama room that led to the roof where we leaned against the barricade. The air was cold but refreshing.

"So why are people saying such awful things about me?" I asked calmly. Naru handed me a can of orange juice.

"Because you've become so awful," She explained while taking a drink of her juice.

"What are you talking about? I've never done anything wrong to these people!" I defended myself.

"No? What about telling girls to piss off in the hallway when all they did was accidentally bump into you? What about throwing a guys bouquet of flowers at him? Serena there's a line between being innocent and a bitch you can't be both," She explained. "I don't blame just you though,"

"You sure seem like you are, who else would you put to blame here?" I stated.

"When you were friends with Raye and you belonged to that group of five you were the one bullied the most. People walked all over you and treated you horribly. It's as Lord Acton said, 'absolute power corrupts absolutely'. It's a true statement. You're mentally taking revenge because somewhere inside you, you now know that these people will not take a stand against you," she explained philosophically.

"What makes you think you're so right?" I questioned.

"I am right because I'm the outside point of view. I watched it silently from the side lines. I watched it from the moment you got the guy and people began to assume things. People assume too much," She said while setting down her juice on the ledge. "Back when you were friends with Raye you would still talk to me occasionally and complain about how much of a hypocrite Raye was. Now you're that hypocrite. You would say things like, if I ever became that popular I would never treat people how they treat me. You hated what she was like and now you've become what you hated,"

I stared at Naru intensely. She was right. I had been too self absorbed to see what I was doing. It was almost as if I had been blind for the past five months and she had just given my sight. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I didn't care. Naru put her arms around me and bringing me into a hug. I missed Naru. She was the only true friend I ever had.

"What am I to do Naru?" I asked while leaning on her welcoming shoulder. "I don't think I can do anything to make things right. I didn't even know I was doing this. I mean sure now looking back on it I was extremely mean to some people. I never saw any harm in it though people were always mean to me. I did the meanest thing in the world to you even. I'm sorry,"

"Two wrongs don't make a right. If you had gone about it a different way and instead of seeking revenge and just been your usual nice self I'm sure people would have reacted in a different way. You were lead by peer pressure, by what everyone expected you to be. It's the same with Raye she wanted you to get rid of me and you did," she explained.

"It's so funny, Ami and Lita said that if I was becoming a bitch they would have told me. No they wouldn't have, they never told Raye so why would they bother telling me? It's not like they're the ones having the problem with me," I stated. "Speaking of Raye have you heard what happened to her?"

"I think everyone's heard about Raye by now," She explained and she was right. "Do you know where she is Serena?"

That was how I was going to make things right. Maybe not with everyone around me but at least right with myself. I stood up and began to walk away from Naru.

"I'm going to go find her. If anyone asks Naru tell them I've gone home sick," I said slowly as I stood up and just before I left I stopped. "Thank you, for opening my eyes,"

It was getting darker out as I approached Oshinibi. The lamps at the lake's temple were being lit. The bus stopped and I walked the short distance up the dirt road to the temple. I saw her then, Raye, sitting with a blanket wrapped around her just as I knew she would be. Her knees were touching her chin and she looked lost. She was staring blankly into the lake's depths.

"Raye?" I asked as I approached her. Her head raised and I could see the tears shining in the dim light of the lamps.

"Serena? What are you doing here?" Asked Raye with a sad smile coming across her face.

"I heard what happened and I came to find you," I said slowly as I approached her. Raye couldn't hold it back anymore and the tears poured from her face as she chocked out a few sobs. She grabbed onto me crying on my shoulder.

After a while Raye calmed down. A temple priestess brought me out a blanket and us both tea. We sat gazing at the lake with the reflection of the stars on it for hours.

"My parents and brothers… They died here," She explained.

"I know," I replied while taking a sip of my tea. "I figured because you refused to come to this lake with us so often,"

"I was here when I was about eight with them. We were staying at the resort on a small family vacation. My mother and father left me with my grandfather and the temple priestesses as they went to go get my two older brothers from school. There was a thunder shower that night with heavy rains, I remember because I kept telling them to hurry back so that we could watch the lightning together. I fell asleep before they returned home so I barely got to see any of the lightening," She paused and looked over towards the dirt road. "You see where there's a small clearing near the water over there? Well that night my dad lost control of the car due to the conditions of the dirt road and their car was driven straight into the lake where they died. No one heard the car. Not one single person heard it drive into the lake. It wasn't until morning that they saw what had happened. They had no way to escape," Her face was grim now and tears were flowing down her cheeks. "I barely remember the funeral. I was kneeling beside my grandfather through the whole service. I remember lighting the incense at night time as well. There was never any question where I was to go. My grandfather took me in right away. I had no other relatives anyway. He raised me,"

I stayed silent, unsure of what to say. She then pulled out from under the blanket a picture frame.

"This is all of us, here the summer before when I was seven," She explained as she pointed to the two taller boys whose shoulders she was sitting on. "Those are my brothers, Daisuke and Kyou. I remember playing with them along the beach that summer,"

"Raye did you ever tell anyone about this?" I asked quietly while looking over the picture of the family.

"No. Not like anyone really would have cared about my life. It's tragic I left my past to mystery so it would seem more interesting. Not knowing leaves the imagination to fill gaps," She explained.

'Not knowing leaves the imagination to fill gaps.' This sentence was very true. If it wasn't for the fact that her grandfather had casually mentioned her brothers before I would have thought her to be an only child. If she hadn't of fainted or freaked out every time we tried to bring her to this lake then I wouldn't have thought any further about her parent's death. People assume too much.

"Why did you come here Serena?" Asked Raye now looking directly at me.

"Everyone was worried about you and no one knew anywhere to look for you. Being that I was so silent all these years I picked up on hints you left when talking. I knew where you would be," I smiled sadly at her.

"I'm really sorry," She smiled sadly back at me. "I've done nothing but been a terrible friend to you. You stuck through at the worst times. I made fun of you I used you and worst of all I tired to turn people against you, I'm sorry," She cried while bowing her head in shame.

"I stole your boyfriend, we're even," I replied.

"What boyfriend? Him and I were fake. I made him go out with me; our relationship was a charade. I'm not a terrible person Serena, at least, I don't mean to be a terrible person. I never had real friends until I came into high school. I became a controlling person because I was so afraid of loosing the friends I had. I made you loose your best friend because I was so scared she was going to steal you away from me. I then lost control myself and got caught up in the false world that I had created," She said through small sniffs. She had begun to cry again. "And here you are, the person whom I treated the worst, finding me because she still cares. No matter what people say about you I still know the truth. I know we can't be friends anymore Serena, it's not like I deserve your friendship anyway,"

"It's okay," I chocked out. Even I had to admit that tears were escaping my eyes now. "You know people hate me now? They started treating me like I was the new you and look what happened to me?" I began to tell Raye the entire story of my popularity. "It wasn't until today that Naru made me realize what I was doing,"

This was the Raye I liked I just now hope that she can stay this Raye. We stayed there like that for hours. Raye's not ready to come home yet, she's not ready to have friends.

__

The Next Day…

"Bad girl Serena, you skipped class and now you're really late for your next one,"

giggled Allan as he leaned against the locker next to mine. The hallways were already deserted.

"Sometimes you need to," I replied while pulling down my biology book from the top shelf. It's hard to stay away from him when he's always just popping up wherever I am.

"Did you like the painting?" He asked while grabbing my notebook from the top shelf in my locker and handing it to me.

"It was you! Why would you ever spend that much money on me!" I said in a very surprised tone.

"It's my parting gift to you," He said looking up at me sadly.

"What?" I asked while stopping what I was doing.

"My sister and I are moving back to England," he said slowly.

"Why?" I questioned.

"Natsumi was rejected by a guy and threw a fit saying how people here don't like her the same way they do in England. As for me I've had enough of Japan. I miss my mates and I'm dieing to have proper chips and drinks," He explained. Well at this point he was speaking English and I only had a faint clue as to what he was talking about.

"So you're leaving then?" I asked looking up at him. "Well what did your message in the card mean?"

"You're really in love with Darien. You're fighting back things that you feel and it's not right and it won't do you any good. So indulge your passion if not for your own sake then for mine. It's painful to watch!" He smiled.

He then bent down and with his lips only mere inches away from mine he said. "Kiss me good bye because you'll never see me again,"

And he gently touched his lips to mine and I fell into the kiss. I released myself and allowed him to, if anyone was watching they would probably say that I kissed back. When we finally parted he smiled at me and walked away down the hall.

Why was it that I was so sad to see him leave? This pesky boy who always teased me and made me realize things about myself that I hated. Some how though, it was as if he was me, he knew me better than I knew myself. I loved him but not as a boyfriend, as an older brother who I could rely on.

Free Talk:

Okay so there was pretty much no Darien in that chapter. Why? This story is about Serena not Darien and if I am to finish it I can't always put Darien in every single chapter. This was probably the most _emotional_ chapter in the whole story and the most revealing. Don't worry more Darien in the next chapter. This story is actually almost finished… Only a few remaining chapters! Don't worry though I have another one in the works! Please remember to review! - Alisabeth.


	13. Never Will We Be That Wonderful

Never Be That Wonderful: **Chapter 13 the finale.**

If he claims that I am so in love, then why would he kiss me the way he did? If I myself am as in love with Darien as he thinks then why did I kiss back? All these questions make me realize the actual mortality of relationships; I kind of understand how people can take things the wrong way. I mean look at me, if I found out Darien kissed another girl in a "friend" sort of way would I sincerely be upset or just mad because my friends fuel my anger by telling me I should be? These all resort back to unfaithfulness which personally I only feel exists if you're married or deeply connected with someone.

There it is again, deeply connected with someone. Darien and I are connected but not on that deep level that I see with so many other couples. Perhaps sex is the answer, I find that to be the only thing that separates those couples from Darien and myself. They've all had sex and are connected on that emotional and physical level.

My phone started to ring as I laid in my bed looking up at the plain ceiling. Day had turned to night long ago I was too lost in thought to notice though. I picked it up and stared at the number strewn across the tiny black screen. It was Ami.

"Hey Ami," I said into the tiny receiver.

"Serena you've got to come down here!" She said frantically into the phone.

"Why? What happened?" I asked sitting up in my bed.

"Lita and Minako look as though they're about to kill each other. We came down to the waterfront where we heard a bunch of people were gathering tonight and low and behold Lita gets a little bit drunk and starts reaming out Minako," explained Ami.

"I'll be right there," I said while slamming my phone closed. I grabbed my car keys off the floor and bolted down the stairs and out the door. I could hear my mom calling after me but I ignored her.

Upon arriving at the waterfront I could already feel the tension build just stepping out of my car. There were people hanging out in little cliques all around the water banks. Eyes were resting on me as I made my way towards a the biggest crowd of people. I could only see a few people who I actually knew from my school, the rest were unfamiliar faces.

"Serena! She's over here!" Shouted Ami while grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the group. I then saw the two of them waving their hands about arguing.

"You fucking left us for some fake bitch!" Shouted Lita while gesturing towards Hatsumi.

"She's not the fake one you twit! She likes to go out and party unlike you! The only reason you're even down here Lita is because you're fake, I know how much you hate partying! You only do it because you think it's the popular thing to do!" replied Minako while taking a step towards Lita.

"You better watch it or I'll beat your face in right here," answered Lita, her eyes were narrowing in frustration, but also partially because she was too drunk to really do anything.

"Bullshit. What are you going to do? Punch me and miss? You never could handle alcohol," retorted Minako.

At that moment Lita raised her hand and bitterly slapped Minako across the face throwing her to the ground.

"No one needs a backstabbing bitch like you around anyway" Said Lita.

I quickly dashed to the fallen Minako and pulled her up.

"That's enough Lita, you're drunk and out of control!" I shouted.

"Whose side are you on anyways Serena? First we all hate Raye because of you, then Minako abandons us and freaks out on you so we all think she's a bitch. Yet here you are still standing up for her. You really are a push over aren't you Serena?" Replied Lita, it was then that Ami stepped in and pulled Lita away.

"Lita you can't take your frustrations out on your friends," said Ami quietly.

Her words had already done their justice on me though. She was right; I don't stand up for myself I just let people push me around. Maybe that's what caused this whole scenario with me turning into a bitch. Perhaps what Naru had said to me was correct that my resent for other people was because of how I was treated. It's sort of scary how the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you," rule was actually quite accurate.

"You're right Lita, I am," I replied while standing to my feet, my eyes were beginning to swell with tears. At this point I looked around at all the people standing near me. I held their attention.  
"I was recently told that I had turned into a bitch. My boyfriend was blind to it, my friends were jaded by it as it was what they were always used to. It took an outside point of view to see what I had become. I'm sorry for it, sometimes you loose your way."

No longer could I hold those tears back, they were pouring down my face like April rain.

"Serena," said Minako while grabbing my arm and leaning her head on me. "Thank you. I've been waiting for you to see it,"

I then heard a truck door slam and Darien and Motoki emerged in to the group. Darien walked right up to me and put his arms around me. Motoki did the same to Lita. He then directed me to his truck and took me away with him.

"What happened?" He asked while turning up the road.

"What do you think happened? Everyone saw me for what I was except for the people who are supposed to mean the most to me. Even you were blinded by my new bad attitude," I replied blandly.

"I wasn't blind to it," He stated.

"Then why didn't you tell me about it?" I said angrily. He is the one person I'm supposed to trust the most and he doesn't tell me?

"You would realize it on your own. I know you and I know that you couldn't handle that personality for very long. What people think really affects you and therefore I knew that you'd discover it on your own," He answered me calmly.

"But that time I asked for your opinion about it you lied to me then!" I shouted back at him.

"Actually at that time you hadn't become the bitch you had thought you were," Replied Darien.

So when was it that I assumed the form of what Raye used to be? When was it that I had become the popular monster. When was it that the population of our high school started to hate me?

We soon arrived at Darien's house and he took my hand and led me inside. By this point I had stopped crying and started focusing as I had not been around Darien in a long time. I wasn't able to just be alone with him recently it seemed because of the drama that always followed me.

He sat down on the couch and I sat beside him resting my head on his chest.

"Darien are we deeply connected?" I asked, rethinking about the thoughts that had crossed my mind hours ago.

"Deeply connected? Um in a sense I guess, why do you ask?" He replied while stroking my back gently.

"Because I look at other couples and I wonder why they need to be with each other all the time and yet you and I we can be apart for days and we're still okay, we're still surviving," I answered while tilting my head up to look at him.

"Perhaps they're insecure and need to be reassured that their boyfriend or girlfriend is still with them," he suggested.

"I know you're with me though," I said while propping myself up on my arms with his torso in between.

"Good," he said while leaning up to kiss me. He then pulled away and cocked his head at me with a private debate going on in his mind. A tension was growing between us, one that neither him or I could explain.

"I was once told when you feel like something is right you should do it," I whispered quietly while looking into his eyes. "I think this is that moment,"

His eyes answered in agreement as he pulled me down to kiss me. I moved my hand up his chest and I felt his muscles tense. He grabbed me under my arms and pulled me up on top of him more. His lips brushed against my neck and he began to plant kisses all along my neck and under my chin until our lips met. His left hand gently glided up the inside of my thigh, he had done this before I could tell. My unskilled hands gently glided over his manhood and I could feel him twitch in anticipation. Carefully I undid his zipper with my shaking. At this point, it's too late to admit I have no idea what I'm doing. I massaged him gently through his boxers as he grew hard in my hands.

"You want this right?" He said huskily.

"Yeah," I replied dreamily while leaning back slightly.

He began kissing my neck like he was claiming territory. I slipped my hand into his leading him to the buttons of my shirt which he carelessly undid revealing my breasts. I wished they would suit him again. I slipped his shirt off, I wanted nothing between us. His hand glided up my thigh as he parted my legs. He skimmed the trim of silk panties and gently rubbed his thumb over my center. I arched my back in surprise and he pulled away ready to take me as his. I closed my eyes I'm scared but above all curious. If this is what it is that my life was missing then I wanted it so bad. His mouth trailed over my jaw as he pushed himself in me.

"Ahh" I hissed as he entered me, the sharp pain emitting in my body.

"Are you okay?" he asked while quickly pulling out.

"Yeah, keep going," I replied while pulling him back down.

His rhythm was slow and gentle, I gripped his back to keep myself from crying out in pain. He stifled his moans in my chest as he cummed and collapsed on me. We stayed still for a while breathing heavily in each others arms. I was his.

"Are you sure that it was okay?" asked Darien as I stood at his door.

"Yes, I'm sore but I'm okay with it. It will get better," I answered leaning up to kiss him.

So there it was, my first time, no candles, no romantic music and definitely no sexy lingerie. Raye was right it was nothing like you expect it to be, but now I've realized that nothing is the way you expect it to be. I'm sure it won't ever be the way you want it to be. I guess you can't really plan life, if you do you'll be left disappointed.

_The next day…._

"I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday," apologized Lita in front of my locker.

"It's okay, stuff like that happens. It's not like what you said wasn't true anyway," I replied while giving a vague smile.

"It's not true Serena, if you were a pushover you wouldn't have stood up for Minako the way you did," She said encouragingly.

"No Lita, it is true. I've let people push my around my whole life. That's why I couldn't see it like everyone else could," I replied. "But if you'll excuse me I've got to go and talk to a friend of mine for a bit,"

I brushed past Lita and walked down the hallway, I was looking for Naru. I wanted us to be friends again, after all she saw me for who I was and wasn't afraid to tell me the truth. It was then that I was stopped from behind. I turned to see someone I thought I wouldn't see for a very long time.

"Raye," I said surprised.

"Yeah, I decided to come back to school. I hear Natsumi and Allan moved back to England," she said remorsefully. I had forgotten all about Allan after the weekend, perhaps I'm ready to forget about Allan.

"Um yeah they left a few days ago," I explained.

"You've done something," She said giving me a quizzical glance. "You have a new aura about you,"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said innocently, even if it was because I was no longer the virgin she remembered. Our eyes met and she knew what I was hiding. She smirked a little and nodded.

"I saw Naru down the hallway by the way, if that's who you were looking for," she said as she turned to walk towards Lita and Ami. "By the way, I was right wasn't it? It's nothing like you expect,"

Things had turned back to normal. Raye was nice and Ami and Lita were no longer her "people" but her friends. As for me I could finally walk down the hallway and no one would stare or move out of my way. I liked having to push like everyone else to get through the matted crowd.

"Serena!" I heard someone call from behind me, it was Naru and some of her other friends, my old friends.

"Hey!" I shouted back and turned to face her.

"I heard about the weekend. Are you okay? She asked sympathetically.

"Of course, I'm better than okay," I smiled and linked my arm with hers as we walked down towards the cafeteria. One of my other old friends Kaori linked the her arm with my other. Naru, Kaori and everyone else still accepted me; it was like three years hadn't passed by. We walked passed Minako and Hatsumi who were leaning against their lockers. Minako smiled and nodded at me and I waved in reply. We were all going to be just fine.

If I was to look back on my experience of this year I'd say I changed for the better. Whether it was Darien who taught me to actually live for myself or if it was Allan for making me face things that I felt I couldn't. I grew up. I now see it no longer matters if I'm with Darien forever or just for right now; and if sex brings us closer then so be it. I don't need a deep connection with someone to love them. We see our lives for what they are now and not what they were then. I can see it now that the world expects too much. Our family tries to control us, our friends try to own us and strangers judge us. We can't be all those things at once. Never will we be that wonderful.

**Free Talk**

_So this was my final chapter, I combined two into one. Now you're all sitting there going it was almost a year since you updated where did you go? I'll tell you. Right after I last updated this story my mother passed away from cancer. I went through a lot of changes and I shall explain why this affected me writing this story. For you see a lot of the characters in this story are based on people I actually know, loosely based of course, but none the less. During this last year my relationships with some of these people changed and therefore each character needed a new ending and so did the entire story. However, after much time spent I finally found an ending I liked and the time to write it. I'd like to thank all of you who read and reviewed this story! I shall write another one soon hopefully, I hope you like it just as much as you liked this one! _

_Thanks again, _

_Alisabeth. _


End file.
